May 12, 2021

Oh Deer....

 Mother's Day ended with a crash. 

Literally. 

The day had been absolutely perfect up until about 9:00 pm that evening. We went to church, catching up with faces we had not seen in months. 

We had lunch with Lem's mom and then had a cook out at my sisters house to celebrate our mother. 

It was perfect. 

We left my sisters house for the 35 or so minute drive home. Usually, I drive us home from there, but this particular day Lem offered to drive. 

3 minutes into the ride, a gigantic deer ran right into our car. It happened so fast that I actually did not even know what happened. 

Our car came to a screeching halt, all 800 or so it seemed airbags deployed and smoke filled the car. 

It felt like we were in slow motion. I could hear myself screaming, but was unable to process what was really happening.

We all jumped out of the car and chaos ensued. Cars were flying by us, not one person offered to help. I kept thinking how strange it was that no one even asked us what was wrong. 

Our car was sitting in the middle of the 4 lane road with lights flashing and blinking and smoke billowing. 

The deer and her two babies  that she was fully swollen bellied with were strewn all over the road. It was a horrible scene. 

My daughter could not stop crying and shaking and all I could do was thank God that we were okay. 

Soon, my sister and her family arrived on the scene to assist us and make sure we were okay. The police soon followed. 

My heart rate finally slowed down and I took in the scene. 

My car was new, we had just purchased it in December. 

The windshield was smashed right where I was sitting. The airbags were bubbled out through the doors. Yet, I felt the Presence of God washing right over me. 

My sister kept saying I seemed awfully calm. 

 It was Jesus. 

Just that morning, I had written something in my prayer journal. I had not thought twice about the prayer I wrote until I finally got home late that evening. 

I jumped right in the shower to wash the trauma, the gruesome deer scene, and the ringing of my ears away. I needed to sit and just let that hot water fall over me. 

As I was sitting in the shower, gratitude overwhelmed me. I started crying. Hot tears falling down my face. 

We were okay. No one was hurt. 

I was just so thankful I could explode. 

As I was giving God all the thanks and praise, He reminded me of something. 

My prayer journal. 

I hopped quickly out of the shower and told Lem to grab my prayer journal and read what I had written that morning. 

Unusually, I had time to write in my journal early that Sunday morning. Normally, I do not write on the weekends because we are just so busy. 

However, that particular morning, Lem and Presley had gone on an early run together and I had some quiet moments to sit, read God's Word and journal. 

When we flipped to what I had written that morning, a lump caught in my throat. 

Lem looked at me with wide eyes. "Wow." He said. 

I had ended the prayer entry with these two sentences...

"Protect us from harm, accidents, tragedy and evil! Surround us with your angels and put your armor of protection over us."

God wanted me to look back, to remember. To see. 

He answered that prayer. 

Just that morning in church the preacher asked us what was holding us back in our faith walk...He asked us to prayerfully think about the one thing that was holding us back...

I closed my eyes and ask God to show me...what was holding me back from full surrender to Him..

Trust. 

The word kept falling on my ears and on my heart. 

Trust. 

I looked to the right of me and there was a huge wooden cross on the wall. I had never noticed that the cross was also the shape of a lower case letter t. 

Trust. 

I told Him right then and there that I trusted Him. He was in charge of my life and the life of my family. 

Lord, loosen the grip and help me to Trust You. In all things. 

The next day, after the accident, and after going back to my prayer journal and the church service...

I just swelled up with gratitude. 

How could I not trust Him? How much more intimate could He be?

I think sometimes, we just do not trust that He will come through for us. We are worried that He will let us down if we finally surrender it all to Him. 

We are afraid of what others will think if we talk about God so intimately and tell stories of His Faithfulness...

I am learning that the opposite is true. The more we Trust and Believe and tell it to all and anyone who will listen...the more we will see Him. 

He opens our eyes a little bit wider every single time we decide to Trust Him . To take that step of faith and obedience. 

I know it is of no coincidence that we just began reading the book of Esther in our Daily Walk Bible reading plan. 

Esther was so brave. So brave. 

She could have remained quiet and protected herself from the wrath of her husband, the King. 

However, with a little nudge from her uncle, and with prayer and fasting...

She boldly stepped out. 

God used her to save His people. 

She spoke up and spoke out. 

Has God laid something on your heart? Are you willing to step out and say it, to walk where He is asking you to walk?

You can trust Him. 

He will never fail you. (Hebrews 13:5)

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

Are we willing to trust Him? 

Are we willing to walk by faith and not by sight? (2 Corinthians 5:7)

Faith and trust are like muscles. They only get stronger when they are used. 

Practice them often and you will see God's intimacy in ways that will blow you away--and also those who are watching!

Maybe start a prayer journal. Talk to Him intimately. 

Ask Him to speak to you. 

Keep asking. 

He is Faithful. 


My prayer journal entry 5/9/21




Trusting with a capital T, 


jill









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