May 27, 2021

Walking on Sunshine...

This past month has been a doozie. See previous posts, if you want to know all of the crazy things that have happened to our little family in this month alone. 

Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for the many blessings God surrounds us with daily, but goodness has been a whirlwind of crazy occurrences this past month!

This week was not much different. 

My precious mother-in-love came to our little town on Tuesday and spent the day with my daughter, Presley. 

They went shopping, ate lunch, and then made about 50 cookies for Presley's high school volleyball fundraiser. 

I was so thankful for this cookie making gesture because I had to work that day, so it was ONE thing less on my plate to do!

As I pulled in the driveway from work, I had a funny feeling in my tummy. Sometimes, God prepares us. I believe that with all my heart. 

I walked in the door, no one was home. 

My dog was laying prostrate on the floor with a very naughty look in his eyes. 

You know where this is going....

I looked around frantically for the cookies...

On a whim, I decided to check the laundry room. Maybe my daughter had stored them in there to keep away from our dog, Bo, who will eat anything in sight...including our underwear!

I slowly, with a deep inhale, opened the laundry room door. 

Crumbs of chocolate chip cookies were all over the floor. 

5 cookies remained. FIVE. 

Bo had eaten 45 cookies. FORTY FIVE. 

The cookies were due to be turned in early the next morning. I was exhausted and drained. 

And, I still had to take my daughter to a 2 hour practice that night. 

"Lord, Why?!!"

When my husband walked through the door, I dreaded telling him. I was going to wait until after her practice to give him time to mellow out from a long day at work. 

However, he knew immediately when he walked through the door that Bo had gotten into something. Our doggie had guilt all over his hairy little cookie-crumb-filled face. 

Lem threw his hands in the air and just said, "Can we PLEASE catch a break?!"

I finally just busted out laughing. I knew that in the big scheme of things, this was not a big deal. Lem wasn't quite to that point yet. He looked at me like I had lost my mind and just walked out the door. 

Oops. Too soon to laugh, I guess. 

The next morning, I drove to my hair appointment. Thank you, Lord, for hair appointment days. 

I was just so ready to sit in that big black comfy chair and not have to face cookie eating dogs, and exploding hot water heaters, and a car that has been totaled by a deer, and a leaky ceiling in our bathroom. 

I just wanted to melt in my hair dresser's chair for the rest of the afternoon. 

It was a nice break from the reality of life. I love the sweet girls that work at the salon. It felt good to escape for a bit. 

Finally, it was time to leave. 

I took my purse, feeling fresh and new, to the checkout counter. 

Allison, my hair girl, was ready to check me out. 

I grabbed for my debit card, waiting for the final number to pay. Long inhale...deep exhale..

She looked at me sweetly and said almost in a whisper, "Jill, you're mother in law, Jane, paid for your hair services today."

I gasped, and asked her to please repeat what she just said..

She smiled and said, "Your mother in law paid for your hair. You don't owe anything. "

Immediately, my eyes filled with tears. Allison's eyes did as well! The two sweet girls that assist Allison were standing there and they were just smiling from ear to ear. 

I hugged all 3 of them and told them how blown away I was! They were blown away too. 

I could not stop crying. 

Finally, I walked out and got in my car. I could not believe someone could be that generous and thoughtful. Especially, when I needed it the most. 

It was so timely. And so special. And so unexpected. 

After calling my mother in law and profusely thanking her, I called my dear friend, Erin. 

Erin and I had just been talking that morning on the way to the salon, so I could not wait to tell her what my mother in law had just done. 

I will never forget what Erin said.

"God knows what we need. He's so intimate with us."

When someone blesses you so sweetly, it inspires and encourages you to bless others. 

I asked God the whole way home how I could pour out a blessing on someone else just like my mother in law had poured out to me that day. 

When we bless others, it creates a domino of blessings around us. 

My challenge for you and for me today: BLESS SOMEONE TODAY. 

It doesn't have to be an extravagant gesture. Sometimes the smallest things are the most needed. 

Pray and ask God to lead you. HE WILL. 

He knows what others need...even if it seems silly or small to us, sometimes it is exactly what that person needs in the moment. 

A generous person will prosper;
whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25

still walking on sunshine over here, 


May 24, 2021

Fools rush in...

 Our reading plan has us in the book of Job. 

I have read this book several times over, and I am just not in the mood to read it again right now. It is a great book to read and many lessons to learn. HOWEVER, I just need a little escape from bad news. Can you relate? 

So, I am taking a break from the reading plan until June 1st to be precise. On June 1st our reading plan moves on to the book of Psalms! Praise Jesus. 

Who doesn't need some Psalms in their life?! I know I do!

I am so glad that God led me to the book of Matthew last week. He knew I would need it!!

Me and my big, big, big mouth have a hard time. 

Over the years it has definitely embarrassed me. More times than I can count. 

Recently, it could have been very, very, very bad. 

I am so thankful, like on my knees-groveling-kind of thankful, for a husband who is wise. 

We had a situation come up with one of our children. *deep breath*

In my eyes, this child was being extremely mistreated by someone. I was livid. Livid does not even begin to describe the feelings that were fuming through my veins. 

I was ready to give this person a piece of my momma bear mind. I really did NOT care about the consequences of my mouth at this point. I needed them to know that they were HORRIBLE and that I despised them. 

Whew. It is hard to write about now because I feel a little ashamed for being so upset. 

In those moments, and I am pretty sure most of us have had them, it is hard to think straight. We ONLY see our version and our hurt. It is very difficult to see the clear picture. 

This is where my husband, Lem, comes in. 

I call him on the phone and spew my poisonous mouth to him. He calmly listens and then, making me more upset, he tells me to calm down. 

UGHHHH. I hate when he does this. 

I want him to get mad with me!!! I always feel so immature when I am the only one spewing meanness. I want him to join me!

He doesn't. EVER. 

He says in his wise, which I hated at the time, voice..."Let's just wait and see what happens. Give it some time and see if it will work itself out."


The Lord reminds me, AGAIN, of the words of wise Naomi in the book of Ruth...

Then she said, “Sit still, my daughter, until you know how the matter will turn out; for the man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day.” Ruth 3:18

Be still. 


Be patient. 

These words sound like nails on a chalkboard when you are a momma bear ready to pounce!

I knew Lem was right. Deep down in my soul, morning after morning of reading God's Word...I KNEW what God wanted me to do. 

But, I did not want to do it. 

I wanted to react. And confront. And fight. 

The Lord and my very wise husband were saying the exact opposite of what I desperately wanted to do. 

Be still. 


Be patient. 

Many times in the past, I have not heeded these words. And have paid the price dearly. 

This time, I did. 

With every fiber of my being wanting to call this person and confront them---I did not. 

I sat still. I waited. I was patient. 

A few days later I learned that I was wrong. 

The matter did work itself out and my view of the situation was distorted. 

There were things I did not know that shed light on the situation. 

I would have looked like a complete fool if I would have reacted out of my flesh. 

We all know that feeling....of shame, regret, foolishness. 

Lem and Jesus showed me a different way....

The way of stillness. 

The way of waiting. 

The way of praying. 

Our husbands are not perfect, but so often they can see what we do not see. They can see the bigger picture when all we see is one side of a situation. 

Our husbands are the leaders of our home. Even if they are meek, even if they are quiet, even if they are least likely to be leader...

God has designed it this way. 

Listen to your husband. 

Even when you think he surely must not have an ounce of sense...

Listen to him. 

Respect what he says. 

Honor him. 

You will be so glad you did. 

We are foolish when we go against our husbands. Plain and simple. 

A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

My husband is not a bible scholar. He is not at church 24/7 or a deacon or an elder at our church. 

And, it doesn't matter. 

God has given our husbands, no matter how spiritual they are, the leadership role. We are to honor and respect unto the The Lord. 

 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. 1 Peter 3:1

The world teaches us the opposite of this. 

We must know God's Way, and not just know it...

But, live it. 

Meanwhile, I will be at Wal-Mart looking for some cute patterned duct tape for this big mouth of mine. If you see my mouth taped up, pray for me!

the struggle is oh so real, 


May 18, 2021

The Golden Rule...

 Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12

Yesterday morning, The Lord led me straight to the book of Matthew Chapter 7. I even wrote about Matthew 7:7 in yesterday's post. 

Well, after I finished typing up the early morning post, my daughter yelled from her bathroom that she did not have any hot water. 

My husband was swallowing down his cereal and hollered back that it was probably because he had taken a hot shower right before her. 

Little did he know that about 4 minutes later he would walk to the basement and find it puddled in water. Water, everywhere. 

The hot water heater exploded. 


Keep in mind that in the past month we have had the following occurrences...I say this through a teeth gritted sarcastic smile:

-our 16 year old daughter was in a fender bender--and it was her fault. her car is still in the shop being repaired. YAY.

-our air conditioner went out the same week as her accident. yep. same week. very thankful for a brother in law who took good care of us. YAY. 

-we hit a deer on Mother's Day night. my car is still being evaluated by our insurance no car for a long while. YAY. 

-we had a leak in our master bathroom ceiling from heavy rain. the exact same spot we had a leak a few months ago and paid a good bit of money to repair it. YAY. 

-as we were clearing the stuff from the basement I bent over to grab a box and pulled something in my back, letting out an ugly sounding yelp. it was lovely. my kids and husband laughed. very supportive family. my back still hurts. YAY. 

So, this post does have a point. I promise I am not having a pity party....well maybe a little one. 

When my husband was ankle deep in water, his cell phone rang. 

It was his friend, Steve, asking a question about something business related. 

Lem told his friend Steve about the fiasco in our basement.

Not long after, Steve was at our door to help. 

Steve stayed about 9 hours to help Lem. Yes, NINE. 

My son and I were able to escape the chaos due to errands that needed to be run. It was TAX DAY on top of everything else we had going on. YAY. 

After our errands, my son and I decided we needed a walk. ANY excuse to escape the scene at home. 

On our walk, my son said something that melted me. 

He said that Steve showing up at our door encouraged and inspired him to be more of a helper to others. 

"Mom, it's so easy to not have time and to not offer to help people because it is inconvenient. But, when you have someone offer to rush over to help, it reminds you of how good it feels to receive help from others. I want to be that kind of friend."\

I quickly nodded my head in agreement, "Yes, Joseph. I know exactly what you mean."

Just last week a sweet friend dropped off a meal for us. It was so out of the blue and unexpected. She knew we had been in the car accident the weekend before and that we were still out of sorts a bit. 

She called me on the phone and asked if I was home. I told her I was and she almost immediately showed up with dinner for 4. 

It felt like a million dollars in that moment. 

I had to get my daughter to volleyball practice and dinner had not EVEN crossed my mind. Since I am sharing a truck with my husband, I was still trying to figure out the details of getting her to practice. 

My friend was an angel to me that day. 

I did not even know I needed her....but God knew. 

When Steve called my husband yesterday morning, I don't think for a second it was a coincidence. 

I am so grateful to Steve. Because of Steve, I could go run the errands that needed to be done that day so Lem could stay back and clean up the carnage. 

Some people are natural helpers, and others of us really want to be. 

In the words of Mister Rogers...I think my first time EVER quoting him here...

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers, you will always find those who are helping."- Fred Rogers

Look for the helpers. Wise words, Mr. Rogers. 

I really want to live the Golden Rule verse out. But, it takes much intention. Much thought. More than that, it takes much time. 

The fruit is so sweet though, isn't it?

Let's be helpers this week, shall we?

Let's also thank the helpers around us. They are not looking for fanfare or praise, but let's give it to them anyway. 

getting by with a little help from our friends, 



May 17, 2021

Ask, and ask again...

Good morning, and Happy Monday! Today, let's meditate on these scriptures from Matthew. I am undone by these Holy Words. 

We often give up. We stop praying. We stop asking. And really, if we are honest, we stop believing. 

I find it easier to write my prayers in a journal. I like to go back and remember. Months later, I can see God's hand in a way that I may not have seen it at the time. 

Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened

still knocking, 


May 12, 2021

Oh Deer....

 Mother's Day ended with a crash. 


The day had been absolutely perfect up until about 9:00 pm that evening. We went to church, catching up with faces we had not seen in months. 

We had lunch with Lem's mom and then had a cook out at my sisters house to celebrate our mother. 

It was perfect. 

We left my sisters house for the 35 or so minute drive home. Usually, I drive us home from there, but this particular day Lem offered to drive. 

3 minutes into the ride, a gigantic deer ran right into our car. It happened so fast that I actually did not even know what happened. 

Our car came to a screeching halt, all 800 or so it seemed airbags deployed and smoke filled the car. 

It felt like we were in slow motion. I could hear myself screaming, but was unable to process what was really happening.

We all jumped out of the car and chaos ensued. Cars were flying by us, not one person offered to help. I kept thinking how strange it was that no one even asked us what was wrong. 

Our car was sitting in the middle of the 4 lane road with lights flashing and blinking and smoke billowing. 

The deer and her two babies  that she was fully swollen bellied with were strewn all over the road. It was a horrible scene. 

My daughter could not stop crying and shaking and all I could do was thank God that we were okay. 

Soon, my sister and her family arrived on the scene to assist us and make sure we were okay. The police soon followed. 

My heart rate finally slowed down and I took in the scene. 

My car was new, we had just purchased it in December. 

The windshield was smashed right where I was sitting. The airbags were bubbled out through the doors. Yet, I felt the Presence of God washing right over me. 

My sister kept saying I seemed awfully calm. 

 It was Jesus. 

Just that morning, I had written something in my prayer journal. I had not thought twice about the prayer I wrote until I finally got home late that evening. 

I jumped right in the shower to wash the trauma, the gruesome deer scene, and the ringing of my ears away. I needed to sit and just let that hot water fall over me. 

As I was sitting in the shower, gratitude overwhelmed me. I started crying. Hot tears falling down my face. 

We were okay. No one was hurt. 

I was just so thankful I could explode. 

As I was giving God all the thanks and praise, He reminded me of something. 

My prayer journal. 

I hopped quickly out of the shower and told Lem to grab my prayer journal and read what I had written that morning. 

Unusually, I had time to write in my journal early that Sunday morning. Normally, I do not write on the weekends because we are just so busy. 

However, that particular morning, Lem and Presley had gone on an early run together and I had some quiet moments to sit, read God's Word and journal. 

When we flipped to what I had written that morning, a lump caught in my throat. 

Lem looked at me with wide eyes. "Wow." He said. 

I had ended the prayer entry with these two sentences...

"Protect us from harm, accidents, tragedy and evil! Surround us with your angels and put your armor of protection over us."

God wanted me to look back, to remember. To see. 

He answered that prayer. 

Just that morning in church the preacher asked us what was holding us back in our faith walk...He asked us to prayerfully think about the one thing that was holding us back...

I closed my eyes and ask God to show me...what was holding me back from full surrender to Him..


The word kept falling on my ears and on my heart. 


I looked to the right of me and there was a huge wooden cross on the wall. I had never noticed that the cross was also the shape of a lower case letter t. 


I told Him right then and there that I trusted Him. He was in charge of my life and the life of my family. 

Lord, loosen the grip and help me to Trust You. In all things. 

The next day, after the accident, and after going back to my prayer journal and the church service...

I just swelled up with gratitude. 

How could I not trust Him? How much more intimate could He be?

I think sometimes, we just do not trust that He will come through for us. We are worried that He will let us down if we finally surrender it all to Him. 

We are afraid of what others will think if we talk about God so intimately and tell stories of His Faithfulness...

I am learning that the opposite is true. The more we Trust and Believe and tell it to all and anyone who will listen...the more we will see Him. 

He opens our eyes a little bit wider every single time we decide to Trust Him . To take that step of faith and obedience. 

I know it is of no coincidence that we just began reading the book of Esther in our Daily Walk Bible reading plan. 

Esther was so brave. So brave. 

She could have remained quiet and protected herself from the wrath of her husband, the King. 

However, with a little nudge from her uncle, and with prayer and fasting...

She boldly stepped out. 

God used her to save His people. 

She spoke up and spoke out. 

Has God laid something on your heart? Are you willing to step out and say it, to walk where He is asking you to walk?

You can trust Him. 

He will never fail you. (Hebrews 13:5)

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

Are we willing to trust Him? 

Are we willing to walk by faith and not by sight? (2 Corinthians 5:7)

Faith and trust are like muscles. They only get stronger when they are used. 

Practice them often and you will see God's intimacy in ways that will blow you away--and also those who are watching!

Maybe start a prayer journal. Talk to Him intimately. 

Ask Him to speak to you. 

Keep asking. 

He is Faithful. 

My prayer journal entry 5/9/21

Trusting with a capital T, 


May 7, 2021

Laughing at the days to come...

 “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

Proverbs 31:21

There is no way I can let this week pass by without a post on motherhood. 

From the time I could form a thought, I knew I wanted to be a mother. 

It was a desire placed in my heart by God and I knew that one day, He would fulfill it. 

My senior year of high school, I remember sitting in my guidance counselor's office. He asked me where I was planning on going to college, and what career path I was leaning towards. 

I looked down at my feet, straps of my sandals pressing hard against my early 90's  tanning bed colored skin...

Clearing my throat, I said, "Sir, I really want to be a wife and a mother. I am not sure of much past that."

I don't know why my cheeks flushed to a bright red, but they did. 

He was surprised. He had not ever been told by a student those words. 

My kids laugh every time I tell them this story. They are just shocked that my one ambition in life was "motherhood and being a wife."

My daughter, wanting to be anything but like her mother as an independent 16 year old, laughs the hardest. She tells me she wants to dress up every day and go to work and live in a big city. 

"No pony tails and yoga pants for me!" She throws her head back and giggles. 

I tell her to pursue those dreams of hers. God gives us those dreams and desires. 

I also tell her that her heart may change...and that is okay too. 

Perhaps the biggest thing in motherhood that I have to laugh. 

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. Proverbs 17:22

 “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:21

And to learn to adapt to change. 

Change is inevitable. God is the only One Who does not change

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Our children grow up. 

Our children will rebel. 

Our children will let us down. 

Our children will make us wonder where on Earth we went wrong as parents. 

Our children will break down every single solid ounce of PRIDE we have ever had...and then some. 

Our children will make us eat our words. 

Our children will make us realize how little control we really have in life. 

Our children will bring us flat faced to the floor in prayer more than anything else in life. 

When my kids were little, I would dread them growing up. I would picture them grown and independent and I would cry and beg God to let the years go slow. 

What I did not know at that time, was how incredibly fun it is to watch your children grow. 

Yes, it is hard. 

But, it is so rewarding to see them become who God had designed them to be. 

When my son was a senior in high school. I felt two very distinct feelings...

One feeling was that of relief that he had made it through high school, and all of the teenage angst it entails. 

The second feeling was that of sadness that a huge part of my daily routine with him was over. 

His entire high school years,  I spent on my knees in prayer. 

I asked God to open my eyes and to help me be INTENTIONAL in every way. 

I stepped back from social media, I stepped back from anything that would take distract me from being present during that time. 

I knew that these years were important. Even though he was more independent in some ways, he desperately needed me in other ways. 

I became a better listener instead of always talking, talking, talking to him. 

I became an observer. I did not want to miss a second. 

When he graduated from high school, my heart was prepared for the next step. 

What I did not know was how my heart would be ready. All those years worrying and fretting about the day he would leave the nest...I was not factoring in God's Faithfulness. 

Friend, God is Faithful. Every step of the way. 

Factor in His Faithfulness. 

The more my kids grow, I am learning that my plans for them is not God's plan for them. I have to ask for forgiveness over and over for trying to force my agenda at times. 

God's plan is better. Even if we don't see it at the time. 

I believe that motherhood burns away pride and sometimes it is painful. 

There are several scriptures that I cling to on a daily basis when praying over them. I will share a few...

"Lord, whether they turn to the right or to the left, let them hear Your Voice saying, "this is the way, walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

May the favor of the Lord our God rest on my children; establish the work of their hands -- yes, establish the work of their hands. Psalm 90:17

Help my children to grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. Luke 2:52

But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. 1 John 4:4

In everything they do,  let them have great success, because the LORD is with them. 1 Samuel 18:14

The Lord is their Shepherd, they have all that they need. Psalm 23:1

Lord, contend with those who contend with my children. Fight against those who fight against them. Psalm 35:1

Let my children be still, and know that You are God. Psalm 46:10

One of the hardest parts of motherhood has been trusting God with my kids. It is true. 

Slowly, I have had to loosen my grip and let God have his way. I have seen time and time again that the sweetest fruit comes from the hardest times. 

When I think that there is NO way that something could be God's will for them, I eventually see the humility and character that was developed due to the struggle. 

Not just for them, but for myself. 

If you are reading this post and you are not a mother...

God has probably put someone or maybe even a few people in your life to pray over and mentor. Motherhood is not always biological. Motherhood takes shape in many ways. 

The heart of a mother prays, tends to those who need an ear to listen, or a table to sit at. 

The heart of a mother makes sacrifices for others, often putting herself last. 

Teachers are the first people that come to mind. Perhaps no one spends as much time teaching and pouring into our children as their teachers. Pray for them often. 

Many women are spiritual mothers to those around them...and they are very important to God's Kingdom. 

I will end by telling you a little secret. Keep it just between us...

For many years, I begged God to let us have more children. I begged my husband as well. The answer seemed to always be a resounding No. 

Not long ago, God opened my eyes to something beautiful. 

If I had more children, I would not be able to be as close and involved with my nieces and nephews and other precious younger ones God has put in my life. 

God knew what was best. He always does. 

Trust Him. 

Factoring in His Faithfulness, 


May 3, 2021

The Waitress...

 We walked in the restaurant and there was not a booth empty. Not one. 

Well, actually, there were several, but because of Covid restrictions, they were taped off. 

My daughter and I sat down and waited for a booth to clear. 

A waitress asked us what we needed. I told her in my kindest voice that we were waiting for a booth. 

She did not respond. She waved me off flippantly and went back to her work. 

It seemed odd that she was not very friendly. Not even a tiny bit. 

My daughter, who is often much more perceptive than me when others are "not being kind", looked over at me and asked if we should leave. 

Nope. We are staying. I pasted on my half fake smile and waited for a booth to clear. 

Finally, two men got up and my girl and I grabbed the open booth. 

The same unfriendly waitress looked over at us and rolled her eyes. She was very obvious and very clear that she did not want us to grab the booth. 

I was so confused. Why was she so upset with us?

Again, my girl asked if we should leave. 

I could feel that warmth going up my spine. That warmth when someone is being rude or unkind. 

That feeling when you want to say something back and stand up for yourself or just make a big fat scene and march out the door. 

I took a long breath and remembered what my pastor had JUST preached on...

He had asked the question..."do we act like we have been spending time with Jesus?"

Those words pierced me. 

I had spent a good amount of time with Jesus that morning. 

But now, Jesus seemed like a far away stranger! 

I was getting throat was tightening, my pulse was quickening...

What would I do?

I could just get up and march right out with my daughter. 

I could tell the waitress that she is rude and she does not represent this business well. 


I could sit there and be kind. 

I could sit there and act like I had been with Jesus that morning. 

Let me tell took every bit of The Holy Spirit for me to stay seated. 

The waitress had been rude. She had messed up my happy mood, and I even felt foolish for staying to possibly be humiliated more by her rudeness. 

My thoughts kept going back to my 16 year old daughter. 

How would she remember this day?

Would she remember her momma retaliating back at this waitress? Or would she remember her momma choosing to stay put in that booth....choosing kindness over putting the waitress in her place. 

I had to play it out in my mind. My emotions and my blood pressure were sky high. 

Would I bow down to those, or would I bow down to Christ in humility?

Jesus loves this waitress just as much as He loves me. 

How will I treat one of His beloved?

Oh man, trust me, it was hard not to get up and walk out. 

A small voice in my heart kept repeating, "Show her love, Jill."

My daughter asked me for the third time..."Mom, are we going to leave?'

I took a deep breath and whispered back to her, "No. We are staying. Everyone has bad days. Today is hers. Let's show her some grace."

She finally came over and took our order. 

Our meal came, and we ate. It was a sweet time with my girl. 

All of the weird emotions and hot feeling up my spine disappeared. 

Jesus had been present. 

He cleared the path for Grace, and I , more than the waitress, needed  Grace the most. 

As I sat down to tell you this story, I pulled my prayer journal in close. I opened it up to the page from this morning...from my time with Jesus. 

I had written down this verse. God had led it to me before my eyes were barely open to see...sleep was still settled into the creases of my lids. 

“No, this is the kind of fasting I want:
Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;
    lighten the burden of those who work for you.
Let the oppressed go free,
    and remove the chains that bind people. Isaiah 58:6

After writing out that scripture passage, I wrote directly underneath

"Lord,  I will free those who I have imprisoned by unforgiveness...."

By staying in the booth, by showing kindness despite my bubbling pride, I freed her from my own bitter hearted imprisonment. 

How many have I held hostage, Lord? How many do I have wrapped up in chains due to my bitter heart of unforgiveness?

I saw her name on her name tag and will never forget it. She has not left my thoughts. 

I have prayed for her throughout this day and will continue. 

God put her in our path...He showed me the bitterness of my own heart at times. 

He showed me that even after spending time at His feet that morning...

My heart will still bend towards wrong if I allow my emotions to take over. 

Lord, let me represent You well. I want people to see Jesus. Even when it is uncomfortable. 

praying for my waitress, 


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