Jan 2, 2019

In the beginning...

I cannot quit thinking about Adam and Eve.

What would I have done in their situation? I blame them constantly on the state of this sinful world. And my heart at times.

But, would I have done anything differently?

I would like to think so.

However, Truth has a glaring Light that shines through the places of your heart you thought were hidden. Even hidden from God.

When I settle in with Jesus, just He and I, I feel so much Joy. I also feel so much sorrow.

I can clearly see the state of my heart when I am truly surrendered to Him. He allows me to see the places I long to hide. The ugly parts. Just like when Adam and Eve hid from God after they ate of the forbidden tree. I often try to hide....

The parts that have a hard time loving others.

The parts that don't understand why it is never ever ever easy to do the right thing.

The parts that are prideful.

The parts that know that deep down fear is a mangled mess in many areas of my life.

The part that lets insecurity decide who I am.

The part that lets the words or  lack of words from others decide who I am.

I get sick to death of my own self.

When I get that sick feeling....

I know...

That He loves me.

That He has to show me these things, or I cannot change.

I cannot change what I do not open my eyes to.

We can live a life blind as heck to our own sin.

I have done it.

I have seen others do it.

Mission trips, church attendance, feeding the poor, teaching Sunday school....

Does NOT reflect a pure heart.

Trust me on this one.

A pure heart is aware of their shortcomings.

Aware of the sin that so easily entangles at times.

Aware that it could very well be our child in the same mess as our neighbors.

Aware that the more I stick my nose in the air to people and look down on them because they are not as spiritual as me....than I am worse off than they are.

I am sick to death of judging others.

I am sick to death of being judged.

There is One Judge.

His Name is Jesus.

People may throw stones at you, but Jesus steps up to say..."He who has not sinned, cast the first stone.." John 8:7

As we read through the Bible together this year, my prayer is that He continues to mold us. To chisel us. To shape us into His image.

It just will not happen apart from time spent with Him.

There is a world out there....a world desperate for us to wake up from our spiritual self-righteous haze. It needs us to have a heart like Jesus. To see the broken. The ugly. The mess.

But. we must see it in ourselves first.

Compassion, true compassion, comes from a heart that knows it is no better than the heart of the one who's sins are more visible. Hidden sins are no less than outward sins. God sees it all.

May we take off the fig leaves--and present ourselves to Christ. Broken, scarred, marred, and torn. 

Then, and only then can we reflect Him.

Keep reading, girls. It's only the beginning.

goodbye Eden,


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