Jun 28, 2017

Guard my stinkin' mouth...

[original post 6/27/14]

"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."
Matthew 15:8
This verse hits to the core of my beating heart. It only hits so hard on my heart, because I have been "these people" that it so pointedly describes.
In fact, just a couple of weeks ago, I was "these people".
If any of you precious ones would have been a fly on the wall of my closet that day, I think you could just go ahead and bury me in my worn-down flip flops.
Die, I tell you, I would die. Willingly at that.
My day was rolling along pretty well. A few bumps here and there, but for the most part, smooth as butter on my gluten-free toast.
Lem came home. Lem is my husband if you need a reminder.
We had dinner as a family, did our "family time" thing, and rolled on into the night time.
Lem jumped in the shower to wash off his hard day of work. I cleaned dishes, whistling while I worked. I may have even had a smile on my tired face as I reminisced about what a pretty good day it had been.
However, all of that was about to change. In the blink of a dirty dish.
After the dishes were clean and the kitchen was tidy, I went to our bedroom to talk to Lem about his day.
I walked through the bedroom door and saw our precious little 15 year old dog lying on our bed.
Normally, this may be a sweet sight to some folks, but not here, not in our house.
Why, you ask?
Because our little old doggie will relieve her bladder on our bed....every single time.
Not just sometimes, but every single time she gets on our bed.
I quickly jumped into action.
Hurriedly, I grabbed the dog, and put her outside while I held my breath thinking about the puddle that she probably left on our bed.
I went back to the bedroom, and sure enough.....
A big, fat, wet, puddle was awaiting me. Soaked right through to the mattress.
Before I could clean it up, Lem comes out of the shower, and sees the crime scene.
He sees the puddle and falls apart like a two dollar watch.
Now, I am just being honest here. Lem doesn't fall apart very often, he's usually calm as a stinkin' cucumber. However, tonight, my calm cucumber turned into a red hot jalepeno.
Accusations were coming out of his mouth so fast it made my blonde head spin.
He was upset with me that "this happened".  I shouldn't have let her on the bed. Blah, blah, blah.
I was stunned with disbelief that he actually believed that "this" was my fault.
Here's the part that will make you feel like mother, wife, and woman of the year after reading {you're welcome}.....
The next thing I remember, I  was slamming the bedroom door, and running to the closet so I could scream without the kids hearing me. At least I was somewhat thinking rationally, right? {pitiful, Jill, pitiful}
Words were flying out of my mouth so fast they would have knocked you out cold if you would have been within arm distance from my spewing mouth.
The last thing I remember was calling Lem a bad name. In a very loud voice. Possibly several times for dramatic effect of course. {bowing my head in dramatic shame}
Also, the name I called him begins with a proper name...."Jack".
To be fair, the definition of the word I called him can be found in Mirriam Webster's dictionary, I will have you know.
The definition of the word I used for him states this:
  • a male donkey
  • a stupid person

I meant exactly that definition at that exact moment.

As soon as I called him the male donkey, I opened my bedroom door to find my children standing there, mouths wide open in horror.

I died. Right then and there. DIED, I tell you.

No words, just a red face full of guilt as I saw their mouths gaped open in awe of what they had just witnessed.

My daughter immediately said, "You called daddy a bad word!!"

My response was, "Yes, and I will continue to call him a male donkey until he quits acting like one!"


Well, girls, there you have it.

A bad day in the life of yours truly. Your bible study girlfriend.

I was not so SHINE-y that day.

Somewhere along the way,  my heart got messed up. Those words that spewed out of my mouth, the hatred coming from my lips, was from a heart that was covered with some yuckiness. Some unrepented yuck.

Now, I know we all have bad days, but for me to fall apart so quickly and so hatefully, showed a big underlying heart problem.

My heart was far from God.

My lips were living proof of this.

"What goes into a man's mouth does not make him "unclean", but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him "unclean". Matthew 15:11

My unclean words were embarrassing. Especially due to the fact that my children witnessed the whole blasted thing.

I will let you in on something that I have recently learned though.

Sometimes the tool that God uses most for us to bless people with, can become the very tool that we fall deep into sin and flesh if we are not careful.

For me, it is my tongue. God can use it to bring teaching, encouragement, exhortation, love.....

However, in an instance, if I am not guarding this tongue of mine, it can be used very destructively. It can harm and wreak havoc if it is not protected by God's Word and His Truth.

I have a friend who has incredible spiritual discernment. However, if she is not careful, her flesh can quickly use it to "judge" instead of "discern". These words came out of her very own mouth.

I have another friend that has a passion for good health and taking care of her body and helping others with staying healthy as well. However, she must stay very in tune with the Lord so she doesn't fall off track with becoming overly obsessive with her health and fitness. She has to constantly maintain in check and balance with the Lord so that she honors Him and not the flesh in her passion for being healthy.

Are you following me here?

We must make sure we refine the tools that He gives us. We must make sure to sharpen them and guard them against sin and our flesh.

The enemy wants nothing more than to turn our God-given gifts into a full-blown disaster of the flesh. The enemy does not want us using our gifts in the way they were meant for us to use them. He wants to distort them and disable them. Pure and simple.

What spiritual gift has He given you that may need extra guarding and refining today?

Guard the spiritual gifts and tools He has given you, and ask God to help you use those tools for His Glory and nothing more.

In the meantime, I will have my tongue under lock and key.

"set a guard over my mouth oh Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips" Psalm 141:3

My kids and husband will thank me for this.

armoring my mouth,


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