May 8, 2012

Tuesday SHINE.......

Today's Reading: Job 14

Good morning, SHINE girls! As we celebrate our Mothers this week, I have another very special story for you all.

Ashley Moon is one of my very close friends. We met several years ago, and our friendship has grown over these years.

Ashley is absolutely one of the strongest women I know. She is young, but so very wise beyond her years.

Oh, and she is also HILARIOUS!! Like, one of the funniest girls I have ever known. For real. She always keeps us laughing! Always!

I have always admired this friend, and have been wanting her to share her story with everyone for a while. Now is that time!

Be blessed today as Ashley tells her story.

By my side
by: Ashley Moon

Hello Sweet Shine Friends…. Jill called me the other day and told me God was placing me on her heart to share a little with you wonderful women, and I must say I felt honored….I mean ME…..really!!!  I also must say, Jill you truly are a precious little lady and I love that you are in my life!

With that said I am going to let you all know a little bit about my life and where I am at today. I was raised in a house full of woman with the exception of my dad (even the dog was female)…. Bless his heart.  I learned early how to nurture and care for my two younger sisters and watching my mom helped me to be the mom I am today. She had me when she was young and it just so happened I followed in her footsteps, as I do many times. I feel this has made us more of best friends at times rather than mother and daughter, not a bad thing!!

My oldest son was born on my eighteenth birthday, the best birthday gift ever, Hands down. Jaxson was the first born grandson and such a sweet baby! I started noticing something may be wrong with him around six months so my mom and I would go to Jaxson’s doctor and express all of our concerns. She was always with me; even though her own life was hectic and crazy, like so many of ours are…..she was always by my side. On Jaxson’s first birthday, my nineteenth, we were opening presents from his big party that we had earlier in the week and he fell into a seizure… Oh My Goodness…SCARY STUFF YA’LL! My parents were almost to Florida eight hours away to visit my grandparents, sure enough my mama got the call and back on the road they went, speeding back to Georgia! She was right there again, by my side! We stayed in the hospital, praying to find some answers, what is going on with our son? 

What is happening with him?

The fear of the unknown was so lonely and freighting.  I can’t even explain it! So they ran tests and scans, we were all very hopeful and patient. In came all the doctors, specialist, med students and nurses, It was quite intimidating to say the least. They had some news for us, Wonderful we have been waiting for days for this moment and we were ready! Let me just tell you Sisters, I was SO not ready! They started on how NOT Normal his brain was and that he would never be NORMAL and using all these extremely long hard to pronounce words! I lost it….. I had just lost my son that was going to carry on the family name, play sports, hunt with his daddy, or tell me He Loves Me!!! Just like that all gone, and do you know what, my mom was right there, by my side…. Oh yes she was!!  Looking back now she was in double the pain I was. Her grandson and her daughter, I can’t even imagine how she was feeling…..I love that woman. I was angry, so very angry. I felt so betrayed by the Lord… it makes me sad now to remember how angry I was with Him! I wanted to know why?

Ecc. 11:5 As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in the mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.

All things WOW!!! I mourned the loss of normal Jaxson and began the new journey with the hospitals, life flights, medications, seizures, specialist, dirty diapers (my hubby and I play paper, rock, scissors on who gets to change the next one…. keeps it fun) therapists, special education, surgeries, wheelchairs, walkers and all the delays! I am not going to lie to you girls, it was hard. I would find myself questioning again and again WHY, why can that mother have a normal child who is walking and talking and I can’t?…..HELLO pity party !

Through it all I could always call my mom, to cry, yell, laugh, or just to talk with her. I am so thankful she was there for me, because I didn’t want to stress my husband out any more than he already was. Jeremy and I had two more precious children, which was also a struggle.  Watching our daughter learn to walk while her older brother physically could not was tough.  But through all of this…. my faith in God has become so special to me! I am blessed to have gone through certain experiences in my life and as I look back now God was with me the whole time. Because even when I was angry with Him, He loved me enough to look past my hostility and fill me with his strength so that I could pick myself up and move forward with our new life.

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

This has made me the person I am today and has also made my marriage stronger. We cherish the little things that we would normally have not even thought twice about. I know for a fact that I could not have gone through any of this without God and Mom by my side.  

On a lighter note.... so you all are not thinking “how depressing”!!  Our little family is NORMAL for us….. Jaxson walks now (praise Jesus) and fights with his little brother and sister like siblings do! We find joy in the small things. Even though Jaxson cannot speak….the way he smiles, you don’t need words.  

Seeing my three children together makes my heart smile BIG.  My seven year old daughter has learned to be caring a nurturing and my three year old son doesn’t even know that his big brother is different, which at times can be very interesting! The five of us are faced with lots of speed bumps, detours, and red lights….but we are just happy as can be…. to be on the road!! 

Thank you for letting me share with you all.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of my fellow Shine girls

Love,  Ashley Moon 

Me and my Mom

Jeremy, Ashley, Jaxson, Annabel & Jett

The Moon Family

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