Apr 19, 2012

Thursday SHINE....

Today's Reading: Job 1

Good morning, SHINE! It's a great day to be alive and serve the Lord!

It feels good starting the day off in His Word, doesn't it? YES!

My sweet friend, Lisa, is guest blogging today. Her words pierced straight through my heart. I needed to hear this. It never fails that God gives me exactly the message that I need.

Be blessed, sweet SHINE girls.

Little Step...Big Results

I have been thinking a lot about our daughter, Jenna Skye, this week, as next week is her birthday. She will be 4.

Prior to having her older brother, Max, we struggled with infertility for 5 long years. Numerous doctors appointments telling us we would never have children outside of medical intervention.

We did not feel led to go that route, so we just left it in the Lord's hands. Which, of course, was easier said then done. I am a very black and white personality (this is not always a good thing!) and would think, "Okay, HE made my ovaries, HE knows what is happening (or not happening), HE's got this..."

Psalm 139:13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

In those 5 years that were already brutal, we lost 2 babies. I cannot express to you the pain in living through that. I will just say now, that I look forward to seeing those faces. Putting my cheek against theirs and telling them how much I've missed them. Jesus come quickly!! AMEN?!?! :)
After successfully having Max, I was done. My nest was full, my heart was full, we had our boy. I was good.

My husband was not.

Of course he never pressured me. Always said that he completely understood why I did not want to travel down that road again. He felt so much of what I felt in my reservation and frankly, fear. We had walked a dark road, together. Sat close on the couch together, saying nothing. We felt our loss', together.

But I knew his hearts desire.

So I started talking to the Lord. Out-loud upstairs, usually while folding laundry, I guess that's when Max was napping.

I cried. Told HIM all the reasons I did not and felt I could not emotionally, sign myself up for a possible loss or 9 mos of high-risk pregnancy appointments. Been there, done that.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Okay, so we've all heard these 2 verses many times. I'd heard them many times, even had them memorized. But I had to put the "trust in then Lord with all your heart..." into action. Not just nonchalantly say these verses. I really had to walk it. Through gritted teeth and hot tears streaming down my face. Walk.

He started working on my heart. I will be honest and say, so many times when I felt him so gently nudging me along, would say, "no, I can't, please don't make me." Then would follow-up my protest by expressing to my husband, one more time, "about a 2nd baby, I just can't", to which he would kindly reply, "I understand".

Then one day, mid-morning, I'll never forget...it came over me like a wave. I called my hubby and said, "today, I can try..."

Nine months later, Jenna Skye was born. I will back up a bit and say, when I took that pregnancy test I laughed and said out-loud to my Savior, "wow, You really want us to have another baby!"

It was again, 9 mos of a high-risk pregnancy...it was tough. There were some scary moments in the first 8 weeks of pregnancy if it (she) was viable and would survive.

So here's my challenge to you. Are you needing to say, "today, I can try..." about something the Father is pushing you to do? Are you scared? Yep, I get it. You could be scared of rejection, isolation, loss, life-change, hurt...

Let's go back to the verses in Proverbs 3. Trust in the Lord. I believe this is a command, not a suggestion. Does He make mistakes? No way!!

Lean not on your own understanding. I understood loss and disappointment. But this verse says not to rest/lean/rely on that.

In all thy ways, acknowledge Him. Verbalize (acknowledge) what you know about HIM. He is all-knowing. He is all-powerful. He is faithful. He is so good!! He loves unconditionally. He is perfect. He is holy.

And He shall direct thy path. This is not a maybe, if He remembers, if you've been faithful, if you deserve it. No way girls, HE SHALL!!

Please hear me say, I understand being scared. I understand not wanting to do it. I understand how things are good, why would you want to jump into something so unsure?

If He is speaking to you...you must take the next step. Is it sure to be free of pot-holes, bumps or bruises. Unfortunately, no. But you have to Trust in the Lord...so He can direct thy path.
Oh y'all, what if I would have missed out on Jenna? I did not know how I much we all needed that sweet, sassy, funny little thing in our lives. She is an extension of me I did not know was missing. She brings out a sparkle and grin in her Daddy, that Max and I never did!! ;-). And she is a firecracker in her big brothers cautious, introvert ways. Thank you Father, for Jenna Skye.

Dear Lord, I want to pray for the ladies reading this who are not wanting to take the next step, Father you know each of their reasons. Wrap Your comforting arms around them. Whisper in their ear, "I got this" as they rely on You with their future. And we praise your Holy Name in all You are going to do
. We love you, Your SHINE girls.

Jenna Skye

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