Feb 4, 2012

Saturday SHINE....

Happy Saturday, SHINE girls!

Are y'all still with me after yesterday's challenge? Not sure about you, but I am feeling a little lighter on my feet already! The baggage from carrying around my Saul(s) was getting heavier and heavier by the day.

As I was taking a walk yesterday morning, I was praying for my Saul(s) and for all of you and your Saul(s). I remembered a sweet friend of mine going through a healing process a couple of years ago. She had written about it on her blog, and I have never forgotten about it.

I asked her to share her story with us today so that we could all be encouraged in this process of forgiveness and love.

 She wants to remain anonymous in her post because of how personal it is....be blessed, friends.

Jill reminded me this morning of this blog post that I shared a year and a half ago and I’m telling you, it’s so timely.  This is sort of the never-ending story for me.  I’m ok with that but it’s something that I continuously have to keep in check and today was no different.  I got a text from Jill asking me to send her this post about healing and forgiveness just when  that same old “root” was warming up for a Knock Out…

ok, Lord – I’m listening…

Embarking again on my 30 days of healing…see below.

Praying for your healing as I pray for mine,

A healing SHINE girl

A Time to Heal

So, I have a root of bitterness/unforgiveness.  This is nothing new.  I’m married to my root and am more committed to him than you can imagine.  I love him and he loves me but he often says hurtful things that I know he cannot mean.  It’s not an easy road.  My Dad never said such things to my Mom and this didn’t begin until after our first daughter was on the way.  Nevertheless, I know that God has a plan for us.  

I prune this deep rooted pain carefully and then forget about it - - of course, until the next time that my offender kicks that tender spot and I'm right back where I started. It hurts and in those conflicts my reaction doesn't begin to fit the offense, because my root sends my hurt from 5 to 55 in less than a minute.  All of the past pain is right in the forefront of my mind and you guessed it, I’m heaping it all in the same pile, all at once.

One of those tender places in my heart was pricked again just yesterday.  Immediately, my reaction was off the rictor, I was hurt and wishing for once that it didn't have to be so dang hard.  

I wanted to pick up my red phone and express my frustration with a bestie.  Hopefully I'd get some relief (for the moment) but thankfully this time, God sent me straight to a Beth Moore message that I had on DVR.  I had no clue what she would teach in this program - but with a heavy heart, I pressed play.

She spoke about a bitterness and resentment in her life and how she recently committed to a season of healing.  For 30 days, she prayed that God would heal her woundedness.  Every praise song, every devotion and each sermon that she heard for an entire month, she'd apply right to the resentment as she sought a breakthrough.  Through her message, she encouraged me to do the same.  

Her situation was an exact parallel of everything I have been feeling in this area of bitterness in my own life.  I felt a wave of disbelief and joy filling my heart.  
Ecclesiastes 3:3 . . .A time to heal.

Lord, I need a serious healing in this area. Please help me.

With her big round eyes, she looked through the camera at me and said, 

. . .Ok, where do I sign? 

She also referred to this verse and said that it's something that happens over time as we work together with God for complete healing. 

Psalm 147:3 - He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

My 30 days begins today, I'm seeking total healing of that root of bitterness and resentment in my heart.  The root system is extensive and outstretched  - -  I've become accustomed to tripping over them frequently.  Can you relate?   Lord, plow and till my heart - for complete freedom in this area.  

She  posted this 4 days after her post above...
God has been so real to me on this journey of healing.  I want to thank you for your encouragement as you spur me on - - is there anything better than words of encouragement?  They are like chocolate mousse or a great pedicure.  I crave them and when they cover me, I feel Jesus through your words and healing seems even closer and more real.

Every song, every verse and yesterday's sermon spoke straight to my healing and my root is definitely shrinking, I can feel it.  Praise God!!

I have held onto my roots like badges of honor - not wanting to forget or let it go.  
Again. . .Forgiveness doesn't make it OK, it makes ME ok. 

I'm so thankful for the process of binding up my woundedness - right now, I'm picturing myself on a low stool and my Sweet Saviour at my feet applying the soothing balm of his Spirit and wrapping my wounds, while reminding me that He can care for them much better than me.
Forgiveness is possible because of HIM.  Healing is possible because of the same.  How about 30 days of focusing on this.  Feeling like I won the lotto. 
Enjoying the view of freedom on the horizon… :)

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