Jan 19, 2012

Thursday SHINE...

Thursday's reading:

Good morning SHINE girls! How's the reading going?

Can you believe the precious gems that are in 1 Samuel? Did you ever think that these few chapters could so relate and intertwine with our lives today? Wow. Just another reminder that God's Word IS living and active.

I have a gift for you today. My friend, Lisa Inlow, will be guest-blogging.

I asked her a couple of days ago if she would do this, and of course she gladly accepted. She asked me what she should write about and I told her to pray about it and let the Holy Spirit lead her.

Oh, man...did she ever. When she sent me the copy of this, I literally had to sit down. I had just been feeling the Lord telling me that very day that I  needed to find rest and quiet in my days. In fact, I ended up deactivating my Facebook page, because I felt like I needed less distractions in my life and more focus on Him.

I love how God sends us His messages and affirmations at just the right time.

Read and be blessed, friends.
My Photo
again, i like visuals...so here is my beautiful friend, Lisa.
(she had no idea  I was posting a picture. )

Genesis 2:20b  ...But still there was no helper just right for him.

So God created Eve...

Definition of 'helper' from dictionary.com:
a person or thing that helps or gives assistance, support.

Encouraging other women in their marriage is a passion of mine, not gonna lie.  I love to encourage and help them see their role as wives, though our Father's eyes, not the worlds.  And for the record, the two typically do not match.

I am the extrovert in our marriage, my husband is the introvert.  We do have great conversation about the kids, his work, my work as a stay-at-home-mom, our church that we love, etc.  But when it comes to what he needs, what he feels, what's on his mind, what he's struggling with, well, those things are kept inside...tight.

For years this kind of annoyed me, as what I'm thinking about anything, flows freely though my lips and thought it would be nice if he carried on the same way.

I would ask questions, really wanting to go deep in his psyche.  Crickets.  (But ask anything about the mobile industry, his line of work, and well, hold on sista!)

I posted a comment the other day on SHINE ( http://shinegirlsshine.blogspot.com/2012/01/discussions-116-120.html ) about living in quiet so I can really hear my God.  And not silence noisy things when I want to hear Him, but strive to live quietly so I can always hear Him.

I am no longer on a certain social networking site because personally, I find it very, very loud.  It is not best for me, does not bring out the best in me, and definitely does not make me a better daughter of the King, wife or mommy.

I have other areas in my life where I may be more low-key or keep myself on the down-low.  A verse that pops in my head on a regular basis, I Thessalonians 4:11
Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before.  I strive to live inside this verse.

Back to the hubby.  These principles are also how I operate at home.  I have learned with my husband, that in order to help and support (great word used from definition above) him, I need to pay attention.  Sit quietly and listen.

Watch.  Listen.  Quiet.  Shhhh.


I know we are all busy.  But are there some things in your life that you could turn down, turn off, or omit all together?  Couldn't our hearts really hear better if we made some changes?  Wouldn't we be able to "see" more clearly?

I really want to hear my Heavenly Father every time He speaks to me.  I want to hear my husbands heart, even when he's not saying a word.  Wouldn't he find that helpful?

Will you join me SHINE sisters?

Let's support our husbands, listening to them, being still with them.

Let's quiet our spirits so we can truly hear our Father who so desperately loves us and wants to communicate with us.  Can we hear Him through the noise?

Our precious Father in heaven...wow, do we love You so much.  And we are honored to be your daughters.  Lord we want to hear You. We commit to quiet the noise, omit the noise, kick the noise to the street!!  We are here.  Waiting.  We are quiet.  We are still.  We are listening.   In Jesus precious name.


  1. Thanks, Lisa. I find it's not only social networking that is loud...but tv, music that's not glorifying the LORD, radio, magazines, novels, crafts, exercise, telephone, and even cleaning house..anything that takes me away from spending time in the WORD and prayer. The closer I walk with the LORD...the more I spend in the Secret Place...the more I hear my husband even in silence...my children...etc. I asked the LORD several years ago that I tithe my time in prayer..He's given me the desire of my heart by the Women Who Pray ministry I have on fb...and the website...as well as the almost 1 1/2 hours every morning for 9 years on cellphone. I used to allow those things to use me ... now I use to His Glory! I thank you, Miss Lisa, for your wisdom ...much younger than me..learning to listen to that quiet husband...I too have one...when he speaks I can depend on much wisdom...What a blessing, Lisa!! :)

  2. Anonymous1/19/2012

    Lisa, thank you for your words of wisdom. I'm taking them to heart this morning. The Lord has been speaking to me for quite some time about dropping facebook out of my life. First through my pastor, then through Jill, and now through you. I have felt a million times better mentally since joining SHINE and I know it is because I have drawn closer to the Lord. Thankful for a Lord that loves me even when I'm not at my best. My hubby is definitely the quiet type also, and expressing his feelings is not something he finds enjoyable! :) So, it is comforting to know that I can do my part by being quiet and listening. I've been praying for ways to be a better wife to him, and to improve myself, so this is another answer to prayer! May the Lord bless you for these nuggets of wisdom you have shared. I appreciate it so! Love, Sarah F.

    1. Oh Sarah I a choked up reading your comment. God bless you as you strive to find HIS best for you.

      That's what I have to ask myself, "is this the best or wisest thing?"...then I strive to move forward. And re-read I Thessalonians 4:11...again!! :-)

  3. Lisa IS beautiful outside AND inside! Thank you Lord for Godly young women who You are able to set a standard in that 'judgement' or conviction can come so sweetly to show other women the Way, the Truth and the Life and to cause them to come to you thru such a sweet peaceful flow. So be it! I love the word she brings to the table.
    And I'm thankful for the 'nuggets' (: she shows us and can't wait to apply them to my relationship. 35 years of marriage does not guarantee perfection in 'relating' with one another. It's layer upon layer. Being the extrovert in my marriage, I can say that I'm guilty of running past the moment and not stopping to 'listen'. Deep breath. It's when we also create a space that envokes trust, safety and ease for those men to WANT to talk to us, without fear of judgement, ridicule or criticism to them. YES they're different from us, and if we listen close, there is SO much to gain. Want to 'fix' them? Know what they 'need' to be/do to become better men, husbands, fathers, providers and closer to God? Want to lead and guide them to the living water? OK, take your hands off and leave that to the Holy Spirit, He's good at it and He delivers (a much better product than we could form). God honors that submission SO big. We lead them when we love them (yes, uncondidtionally), pray for them and build them up. Listen for Him thru your provision. Thank you again Lisa!

  4. Lisa,

    I love to listen to your heart. Every single word. I want to be helpful to David and listen and understand him and live life along side him, helping him along the way. I think your thoughts on quiet could also be seen as a form of respect, right? You and I have talked many times about this. (It's funny how all roads can lead to respect for men.) Respect would speak volumes in quiet, I think. (When my children are quiet, I find it very respectful.)
    Fulfilled husbands are respected...
    Also, with quiet and respect, comes waiting, like Saul learned the hard way, which we all do. I often rush my husbands thoughts when I am trying to find his wisdom. I want to work on waiting, too.

    I really appreciate the opportunity, as I sit here, to reorganize my thoughts on being David's helper. Thank you very much for your encouragement to love our husbands more effectively and getting me brewing on how I can do this better. I love that great guy so much and I want him to feel helped and totally respected by me!!!

    I love you, Lisa! This is news I can use. :)

    1. In the Inlow household, quiet definitely equals respect. A short story for you that I have never forgotten.

      We had been married just a few yrs, no kids yet, it was a Sat afternoon. Scott was in the garage, just messin' around, I was inside watching Food Network.

      He popped his head in and said, "come out here with me". So I went, grabbed a beach chair that was hanging in the garage, promptly sat down awaiting conversation...one of my favorite things ever.

      He turned AM750 to hear the Braves. WHAT???

      Bottom line, we discussed it throughout the day, that's how long it took me to get to the bottom of this, he just wanted me to BE with him, exist with him. He enjoys my presence. Period.

      My husband appreciates quiet. Being. Existing. Soft Silence.

      From then on ,and tho "quiet" is not my nature, even now, I find him when he is doing this or that. I grab my laptop, book, or magazine, a cup of coffee or bottle of water. And I exist with him. And no joke, a lot of times he says, "I like you with me."

      Say no more.

      (I think that turned out to be a long story).

      Love you too Rebekah.

  5. Lisa, you are smarter than me. I love this story. David has done some VERY similar things, but I have to say that I would have hung out for 20-30 minutes max and just gone back inside and rejoined FOOD network. (YIKES!) I really can't even tell you what an eye opener it is to me. David will ask me to come down to his workshop while he works, I need to muster up the patience to stay with him in the quiet if he needs me to... Thank you again!

  6. So funny.. Tim will tell people, Teddi and I built the gArage or lay the wood floors or?? And mostly I'm just there..You ladies are wise above your years..God really knew what He was doing when He made us the heart and not the head. I'm texting.. On my way to Fla... Not demanding or even expecting conversation like I usually do.. Because I read this very early and brought yarn to crochet and my kindie to enjoy this silence...lol! Almost to Daytona now...again I thank you Lisa, Jill, and all you SHINEgirls. <3

  7. Yes! I will be cleaning the house and Lem will say..."can you just come in here and watch the game with me?".

    For a LONG time, I would tell him no...then I became convicted. Lem was telling me (without telling me) that he just wanted me to be with him. In the same room, sitting beside him. It showed him that I loved him.

    Weird, but true. :)

    learning as i go,


  8. Anonymous1/19/2012

    Lisa, I cannot even begin to tell you how crazy the timing is of your message for me to read just now! I am so amazed by what I just read because JUST THIS VERY MORNING, the Lord revealed to me something SO huge regarding my marriage. My marriage is in dire need of repair and I have been putting spiritual pressure (if that makes sense) on my husband and feeling like I was "doing" everything in my power to make it better...HOWEVER, God bopped me on the head this morning when I did my usual ungodly grumbling about him (husband) while I was doing everything to get the family out the door (lunches, bookbags, coffee, breakfast, morning prayer with kids) all while he lay sleeping...this aggravates me DAILY. For some reason, I feel better when I mumble something derogatory about him when he makes me upset...no one hears but me but I actually say it out loud. Anyway...the Lord convicted me this morning and I now know where the repair in my marriage has to start!

    This resentment and bitterness has got to end in me...NOW! I have actually been praying for God to reveal to me what has been hindering me spiritually and THIS IS IT! Until I am the submissive, quiet, respectful wife that God wants me to be...everything is going to pot...and it has been. My attitude towards him, although I fake it most of the time, is not fooling God. I am so very thankful that God answered my prayer and revealed to me this sin that I wasn't seeing as sin in my life.

    I am a changed woman today. I am going to love my husband so intentionally everyday and I am going to tame this tongue of mine and I am going to forgive, forgive, and forgive some more when he hurts me. I am going to put him before every single thing in my life and show him how important he is to me, how attracted I am to him, how in love I am with him. I am going to expect nothing in return and ask God to give me the strength everyday to persevere until our marriage is where and how God intended marriage to be! I am actually so excited because I KNOW that my obedience is what God wants from me and now that He ever so loudly showed me the area in my life that lacked obedience, I can do something about it! Thank you God for revealing yourself to me! Thank you! I had myself convinced that I was a "good" wife and he was the problem.

    So, I am going to submerge myself in my bible and a book I highly recommend..."The Help Meet". I want the very best marriage more than anything...I am praying for God to renew and refresh my love for my husband every single day. I want to be his everything and I never ever want to be the source of pain, discouragement, insecurity, or disrespect to him. Sadly, I have some repairing to do because I have been those things to him repeatedly.

    Again, I have to say...Thank you God for removing the scales from my eyes this morning! I can do this...I will do this! My husband is worth it and with God ALL things are possible!

    I am a little afraid of the task before me but I am looking ahead to the outcome it will produce! Nothing but happy and "shiny" thoughts/words/deeds to my beloved husband from this day forward...

    1. Please rest assured I am praying for you. And God bless you leaps and bounds for stepping out in obedience. May HE reveal Himself to you in the most amazing ways!!

      And if you ever need anyone to pray with you, help you out with anything...just email me. lisa inlow at g mail dot com.

    2. Anonymous1/20/2012

      Lisa, if you are serious and from what I know about you, you are...You may be getting an email from me soon. I know I could use some accountability and some encouragement. Thank you, as Jill said, for having such a huge heart for women and for marriage. I am off to a good morning....just a loving this man of mine, regardless of his response :) Love notes in his lunch box and all! I may just be falling in love all over again! yay!

    3. I am completely serious. If I say it, I mean it. If you contact me or not, know I am praying and will continue. WITH THE FATHER, you can do this...you cannot, however, do it alone. Stick with HIM...and your other him. ;)

  9. oh,man..i love how the Holy Spirit works! thank you, Lord for working in our lives in such a personal way. Wow, just wow!!!!

    thank you, lisa for heeding the call to serve women. love you more than words.<3

  10. Thank you. Your words hit the spot.

  11. Lisa,
    Thanks for your moving testimonial! It made me step back and reconsider the amount of quality time I give to my husband each day. We have a great relationship, but it can only be better the more we have focused conversations with each other without either one of us searching the Internet, etc. I have scaled back my computer usage a lot since reading your post and hope to continue to consider how important it is to just listen!!!


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