Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. Colossians 4:2
So, my son graduated over the weekend.
I am sure this will be just the first of MANY posts about this. I apologize in advance.
Since 2009, I have been praying for this day.
Yes, for the past 10 years I have been praying for my son and his graduation time.
My nephew graduated in 2009. I watched as my sister really had a hard time when we he left to go out of state for college.
I remember thinking, "My sister is not someone who just likes to cry. It must be really, really, really hard."
From that day on, I made it a priority to pray.
I knew the state of my emotions and heart, and I knew that only Jesus could keep me from falling apart.
I will say this to the mother's who have yet to come to this season, God does prepare your heart.
Especially when you pray.
To the mother's beyond this season in motherhood, I am looking at you to see that it really will be okay.
Many mother friends of mine have crossed this path already, and such HOPE it brings my heart to see that life does go on and the new normal becomes "normal-ish".
As I was praying about this post and what I wanted to say, I just kept hearing the word, "content". (Philippians 4:11)
Contentment can only come from a heart surrendered to Jesus.
It is a daily surrender for me.
I want to be content with this season of life.
I want to be content with growing older.
I want to be content with my children growing older.
I want to be content with a house that is quieter.
I want to be content with less.
I want to be content with all of it.
As I look out my window and my fingers continue to type, I see the trees swaying in the slow Summer breeze.
That tree is strong, with deep roots.
I want to be like that tree. It has never moved from that spot. It sits still and unbothered by the constant changing of its leaves.
The tree towers over my back porch providing much needed shade for those that gather underneath.
Lord, help me to be like this tree to my people.
I want to be strong, rooted deep in my faith, and able to provide shade to those who need it around me.
When my children do come home, let me be like that tree. Providing a haven of comfort, joy, peace and protection from the heat of the day.
Each season the leaves change, they fall, they grow back again.
It is the rhythm and nature of life.
The trees know that the seasons do not last forever. They change.
But, with each new season comes Joy if we will embrace it.
Motherhood is not a calling that ends when your child turns 18.
Motherhood is a life long calling.
A calling that will continue to wake us up at night to pray. A calling that will go beyond the years when they do move out of the nest.
Motherhood encompasses a lifetime. Just like that tree outside my window.
Instead of toppling over when the winds get strong and the weather gets harsh, we burrow deeper into our relationship with Christ. Just like the roots of that tree burrow deep into the soil.
The deeper the root, the stronger the tree.
Motherhood will bring us to a place of strange oneness with God if we let it.
When I feel the pain of my insides when I think of my boy going away to college, I think about God.
Of all of the parents in the entire world, He alone knows my pain.
He knows before I even speak.
Sometimes I have felt so alone with this weird pang in my soul, only to find the greatest comfort in falling at the feet of Jesus.
This letting go of our children thing...
This watching them fly out of the protection of our nest...
This ache in our hearts for things to be different....
God knows. He knows all of it.
He too has ached.
For all of His children.
He knows what this strange pain feels like. Like, no other.
This comfort, this peace. It can only be explained by the Miracle of God's love for us.
I have felt Him in a new way this season.
When for a flash of a moment I have felt alone, I have felt the overwhelming grip of His Love.
When I have needed to talk, but words could never come out right to anyone...
He has listened.
Without me saying a word.
Do you find yourself in a lonely place?
But, you are not alone. Ever.
He is with you. Right there next to you.
He sees you. (Psalm 139:1)
He feels every ounce of your pain.
And, in a strange way, without changing a thing, He will bring Peace to your heart.
A flood of Peace that does not even make sense.
He will bring a contentment that seems strange and different, but there none the less.
He has a plan for you too, momma.
Your child will not be the only one beginning something new. He has marked the path already for you as well.
All the prayers we pray over our babies, somehow, only by the breathtaking Love of God, come back to us. Covering us in a blanket of grace.
People will comment that you seem different.
Because you are.
God is doing a work in your heart too.
Those prayers, those dead in the night, early in the morning, prayers....
They are still being answered in more ways than you even imagined. (Ephesians 3:20)
Let that bring Hope to your weary heart.
Do not stop praying.
Motherhood is a call to pray.
Pure and simple.
Yet, powerful and profound.