When I sit down to type to you, it feels like I am sitting down with a precious friend over coffee ready to share our hearts. I hope you feel the same way.
I am the type of girl who loves to share a good thing when I discover it. I probably go on and on a little too much. However, if I find the perfect shade of nude lipcolor, or the most amazing dry shampoo, I must not keep it a secret. My friends MUST know.
So, today I share with you something I have discovered through prayer. I am not sure when it began, I guess it has been a gradual thing. However, I cannot let another minute go by without sharing this piece of information with you in hopes that it will encourage you and spur you on in your faith.
For years I have prayed very specific, very desperate prayers over the lives of people in my life. I will be straight up real with you and tell you that my husband is one of them.
I have begged, bargained and pleaded with God to move his heart on some issues. I have talked endlessly and tirelessly to friends about these prayers and just how tired I was of praying them.
My prayer journal is FILLED, and I mean FILLED, with his name written all over it.
However, over the last few months I have been heavily focused on just saying these words to the Lord in a desperate time, "Thy will be done, Lord."
Is sounds easy, right?
However, I have noticed that the less I blabber and beg and pour out the same words over and over, the more peace that fills my heart over these requests.
Something has changed.
God may be doing some change in my husband, but mostly He is changing me. My heart.
The bible says in Proverbs 10:19, Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.
The bible also says in Philippians 4:6-7, Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
I was talking way too much, and my words and my prayers became anxious. Asking for prayer and pleading desperately with the Lord on a daily basis was another form of worry. I was masking my worry with prayer.
With each friend I shared with, it was not really a call for them to pray, but a call to share my anxious heart and a sign that my worry was exceedingly greater than my faith.
When I was able to pray, "Thy will be done in Lem's life, Lord," it freed me of this worry. This anxiety that consumed my heart was finally set free.
My prayers were really just a reflection of me trying to maintain control and convince God that I knew what Lem needed.
I am pretty sure that the Lord knows what Lem needs much more than I do. My desires for Lem are often selfish. If I am completely honest, my desires for Lem to change reflect a gaping insecurity in my heart.
Do I not trust that the God of the Universe will take care of him? Do I really think that all of my frantic worry over this and that will change or speed up the process of God's will? Uh, no.
Our times are in God's hands. Psalm 31:15
That is worth repeating, say it with me.."Our times are in God's hands."
I used to get so bent out of shape when I did not see an answer to prayer. It would shake my faith terribly.
Now, I see that all along, my faith was based on the wrong foundation. My faith was based on an outcome and not on the One Who holds the whole Earth in His Hands.
What if I never see that certain prayer answered? Does it mean that He doesn't hear me, or He doesn't love me?
It means that...
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
I don't know what He is doing. But, I know that He is good. Oh, so good.
He has proven this time and time again.
My children don't understand why I will not give in to certain things that they desire. They beg, plead, and justify why they should receive what they are asking for.
But, as their parents, Lem and I know what is best for them at that moment.
Or, it could be that we desire a better thing for them, and they just need to wait until the time is right.
God never settles for less than the best for us. So, when we pray, and leave our petitions with Him, let's trust Him with it. Let's not lose our faith, worry incessantly, and talk profusely about this gaping need.
Does He not know what we need?
26 Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns—and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:27
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? Matthew 6:28-30
Thy will be done,