Have you ever felt distant from God? I have.
My "faith" knows that it it's not possible, God is always with me. "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20
My flesh, however, felt distant. My flesh wanted so see God, feel God, hear from Him audibly.
When I was in this place of distance, it was dark and lonely. And weird.
The things that used to come so easy with my faith, suddenly became strange. And awkward.
It's like I had forgotten how to ride a bike and I desperately want to get back on.
Looking back on that time, I see why. We had a lot going on with our family. Changes, and more changes.
My daily normal got turned upside down.
It took me awhile to get right side up again.
My quiet time in the early morning hours felt rushed and hurried. I was going through the motions. In a big way.
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and your mind kept wandering? You were trying to go through the correct conversational motions and "uhh-hmms", but your mind just would not stay on the conversation?
Yeah, that is how I felt with my time with the Lord. My eyes were reading the words in the bible, my lips were saying prayers, but I was not all there.
Have you been there? Our hearts can be in another place. A place of worry. A place of doubt. A place of fear. A place of lost hope. A place of grief. A place of anger. A place of bitterness.
In that distant time I was experiencing, I wasn't trusting in His Provisions. I wasn't really seeking His word, I was just going through the motions.
As I talked to God about this through prayer, He gave me a vivid picture image in my head.
I imagined myself showing up to a dinner party. All dressed up, food spread all over the enormous table. I pictured myself sitting down and not eating. Just staring at the food. I had showed up, but I had not partaken in the food that was spread out for me to get filled and enjoy. I left the dinner party hungry.
Exactly what was happening with my time with the Lord. I was showing up, but not feeding off His Word. I was leaving empty. By choice.
I had read the words on the page from my bible, but had not ingested them.
"It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" Matthew 4:4
I was starving my spirit. God was there, spread out right before me, but I refused to partake because of my preoccupation with other things.
He had not left me, I had left Him.
Oh, friend. are you in a place of distance from the Lord? Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Read His word. Pray. Ask for forgiveness of sin. Sin separates us from God. (Isaiah 59:2)
Here are a few verses to jumpstart your faith again...say them, pray them, write them down.
I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. Psalm 119:10
O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. Psalm 139:1-3
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. Psalm 119:105
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14
These are just a few, but there are so many more.
I am praying over you, desperately wanting you to feel His Presence and His Peace.
He is right there,