The Lord always speaks to me through the life of my kids. Always.
Since I began writing on this blog, I have almost daily wanted to shut it down and quit writing. As much as I love writing, at times it feels too vulnerable. Too exposed. Too much.
Sometimes I just want to be a different kind of girl. A girl that has different gifts and different talents other than the ones God has given me.
I want to be like my friend who can make the best cinnamon rolls in town. Or like my friend who has the gift of hospitality. Or like my friend who sings on stage and sounds like an angel. Or like my friend who has a passion for healthy eating and exercising. Or like my friend who is a teacher at our local school and is loved by all of her students. Or like my sister who is crazy talented with hair and makeup. Or like my mom who can make anyone laugh in five seconds flat.
Most of my life I have questioned my talents. Often wondering if I had any.
However, very recently something happened with one of my kids. Something God used to speak so pointedly to my heart.
My daughter was singing in the car. I told her how beautiful her voice was. She stopped and said, "I have a horrible voice. Nobody ever says I sing pretty when I sing at recess."
I replied back to her, "I think you sing beautiful, sweet girl. You make my heart so happy every time I hear you sing."
She replied back, "I am just never going to sing again. Nobody listens anyway."
As I envisioned my struggle with wanting to keep writing, I thought about her words.
My daughter has a gift. A gift of a sweet singing voice. She blesses me each time she sings. God has given her the ability to hear music and sing in tune. Why would she ever think that of not using her gift?
God gives us gifts to ultimately glorify Him.
We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. Romans 12:6
Our gifts are not about the people that do not celebrate our gifts, it is about the Giver of the Gift.
It all goes back to Him.
When we are waiting for the world to give its approval, our gifts will be suffocated and smoldered. Or even worse, never used.
God is showing me that when I write, it is not about how many people read it or approve. My writing is for Him. Whatever He does with it, us up to Him.
We may never, ever know what He does with our gifts. Although, I do believe He gives us glimpses occasionally.
However, we deprive ourselves and others when we choose to not use our gifts and talents. Just like with my daughter's singing, if she doesn't sing, I will miss out on the opportunity to hear her sweet voice.
If my mom decided to stop being funny, I would miss being able to belly laugh with her! If my friend decided to stop making cinnamon rolls, I would miss out on the best cinnamon rolls my tongue ever tasted!
Maybe you feel your gift is not special or important. Maybe, like me, you wish you had someone else's gift.
I encourage you to embrace what God has given you. If you have any doubt about your gift, talk to God about it. He will make clear your path. Trust Him to lead you.
Ask a close friend, or your husband. They will tell you what your gifts are. Sometimes it's something that comes so natural to us we don't even notice it.
I pray God will surround you with encouraging friends that cheer you on as you use and discover your gifts. Pray for these kinds of friends. They will spur you on when you want to quit. Trust me on this one.
Let's be THOSE kind of friends. Let's encourage each other instead of comparing ourselves to each other. Let's take the time to notice when a friend needs a little lift. It could make a world of difference in their life.
"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds"Hebrews 10:24
So, I guess I will keep writing. I know there will be days when I want to close up shop. I will try my best to remember that writing is not about me, it is about Him. The Giver.