September Reading Plan: Psalm 31-60
September Memory Verse: Psalm 34:1
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Be blessed by one of your precious SHINE sisters. She shares HOPE in a once hopeless marriage. She chose not to share her name because of the transparency in her post. Word to the wise, grab your Kleenex box!
Prayer Changes Everything
This entire week of highlighting prayer for our marriages has been a theme of mine for several years now. You see, I am saved, but my husband is not. 3 years ago, in my absolute desperation, I finally chose Jesus. I could no longer spend another day fighting myself and my husband. After I made the decision to change my life, my marriage did not change as quickly as my heart did. God blessed me with Godly women to guide me during the early stages of my Christian infancy. I was given a book, “The Power of a Praying Wife”, written by Stormie Omartian.
Donʼt get me wrong, I prayed for my husband, but it was to change him. Lord, help him to stop drinking, stop the anger, stop the substance abuse. Our marriage was in the deepest, darkest hole.
I thought about leaving all of the time. Surely God did not want me and my little one to continue like this. My husbandʼs drinking was at an all time high. Every single night, he would be gone to us. I did not know him. I did not want to know him. I wanted out.
But, in this book, the very first few pages, I was given an entirely new concept to try.
Instead of praying for him to change, I would pray for my heart to change. I began asking God to show me things about my husband that He wanted me to see.
I began to ask God to make me fall in love with him again. Instead of focusing on all of the “sin” that I focused on for so long, my heart began to be repaired. I prayed for meekness.
You see, I am the opposite of meek. I have no problem stating my thoughts and views, especially towards my husband. But what I began to realize is that the drinking and substance abuse was coming from stress outside of our home. My heart began to have apathy towards my husband. In that apathy, it was as if my husband began to slowly awake from the fog of stress and abuse. In that apathy, I began to awake from the very same fog.
My heart began to fill with love and adoration for him. Instead of the
constant need to tell him what he was doing wrong, I would find ways to encourage him.
Sometimes, I just wouldnʼt say anything at all (big change since all I did was tear him down for the choices he was making).
Quick note: I once had a dear friend tell me, “how can your husband hear God speaking to him with all of the yelling you are doing?”
Whoa, right? That was like a slap in my face.
Today is a new day in my marriage.
My husband does not attend church with us. He is not saved. But, God is not finished my story yet.
I will tell you my marriage is the strongest it has ever been. It is because I surrendered.
I know that during the most difficult times in a marriage where there is abuse, alcoholism, and things that I can not even imagine, it is hard to envision finding love and respect for your mate.
God can do this for you! He showed himself mighty when I surrendered. When he changed me, he changed my marriage.
Through me, my husband sees Christ. I am the only person in
his life that can be a light. And I see that as being my greatest calling. (Do not get me wrong, I am human, I stumble in my walk with Christ. I in know way consider myself to be a prayer warrior. But I know the power of prayer.)
I know there are women out there with my same story. In a “hopeless” marriage where yes, in the worldʼs view, you should leave him. I want to call on you to surrender yourselves to Christ. Allow Him to open the eyes of your hearts to what He and only He can do. When you are Christ centered and in His will, He will show you miracles.
I see them everyday in my husband. And I know that there will be a day when my husband will choose Christ. I know that through my obedience and choosing to seek Godʼs will in my life and marriage, He will continue to transform our marriage.
Praying for your marriages. Praying for your walk with Christ. Praying for your total surrender.