Jul 24, 2014

The Prayer That Changed Everything....

July Reading: Psalm 1-31 {Read a Psalm a day}
July Memory Chunk: Psalm 1:1-3
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"The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it." Psalm 24:1-2


 My husband Lem and I have been married for 15 1/2 years. Yes, we married when we were 5. ;)

As time passed, children were birthed, finances were strapped, things started to change.

Suddenly, I saw Lem differently.

I began to see his flaws. Magnified.

When life gets a little crunchy, this tends to happen. Things that normally would not bother you suddenly become a big painful thorn in your side. This was the case for me.

My happy fairy tale world, suddenly exploded in my face.

He got on my nerves. He never seemed to say the right thing. He never seemed to do the right thing.

And, I told him so.

Years passed and I prayed the same prayer over and over and over, "Lord, change Lem! Make him nicer, kinder, more thoughtful, more spiritual!"

Oh if y'all could see my prayer journals! My tears are splattered all over the pages. Lament after lament of asking for God to change Lem.

Make him more suitable for me. Make him different, Lord. Change him!

One day, I got really angry with the Lord. I was frustrated because none of my prayers were being answered. Nothing changed. Lem was the same and I was even more bitter.

I cried my eyes out to God and told Him how I felt. Tears flooding my face, I told the Lord I was done praying for Lem. It wasn't working, and I was done.

Lem came home from work that day and we got into an argument about something. Afterwards, I looked him square in those big blue eyes that had captured my heart at the age of 21, and told him I was going to stop praying for him to change. I told him none of my prayers were being heard and I was tired of praying them day after day after day. Tearfully, I confessed my unhappiness with his "unchanged" ways.

The look that he gave me I will never ever forget.

His blue eyes showed the hurt his heart must have felt.

All he said was this, "I have never prayed for you to change, Jill. I had no idea you were so unhappy with who I am."

Bam.

Knife to my bitter little heart.

Suddenly, I knew what the problem was. The Lord shined His bright Light of Truth and Love all into my dark and shadowy heart.

I was the problem.

I was the nagging wife.

I was the one that needed to change.

From that day forward, my prayers changed. Drastically.

My new prayer for my marriage is two-fold.

It goes like this:

"Lord, change my heart. 
And Lord, bless Lem! Bless Lem BIG!"

This simple prayer has changed my marriage. This simple prayer has changed my life.

Instead of praying for him to change, I pray for me to change.

Instead of praying for him to change, I pray for him to be blessed. Abundantly.

Lem is not mine to change. He really doesn't belong to me, he belongs to the Lord. And, the Lord does a pretty stellar job at changing hearts. Especially our own.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10



Lord change me,

jill