Aug 29, 2012

Wednesday SHINE....

Today's Reading: Micah 3

Happy Worship Wednesday, SHINE girls!

We have a very special guest blogger today. My long time friend, Danielle Copeland, is sharing a part of her incredible testimony.

She and I have had countless conversations because we bond with similar struggles. Through the years, I have seen Danielle grow stronger and stronger in her faith walk and her dependency on Christ. 

It has been a beautiful thing to watch unfold. (tears!)

Danielle is beautiful, talented, and the most fun person to hang out with. She and I share a love for all things shopping and fashion oriented. So, I totally love hanging with this girl. ;)

Sit back, grab your coffee and be blessed by Danielle's journey.

Tuesday SHINE:
by: Danielle Copeland

Hi SHINE Girls!

When Jill first asked me a month ago to do a post I didn’t know what to think.  What did I have to say?

Yes, I am a Christian…Yes, I go to church…Yes, I have my quiet time…but I was a mess.

Plain and simple. 

You see I struggle with fear and anxiety on a daily {sometimes hourly} basis. It has been a part of me for 20 years this September – something I want to get rid of desperately.  I have tried therapist after therapist to no avail. I have leaned on friends and family only to frustrate them. The one person I needed to go to was God – I knew this, but I didn’t want to give up my control in handling this.  I didn’t think he was “real” enough to handle my fear. It was too big.

I have prayed, read books, memorized scripture, sang praise songs but I did not give it to God. You see, I was scared that if I gave it to Him completely I would lose control.  He would make my worst fears come true to teach me a lesson in trusting Him.

Satan had me in the tightest hold you could get. 

One that almost tore my marriage apart.

One that almost destroyed friendships.

One that almost damaged my ability to mother my kids.

Almost.

But guess what? Satan is NOT going to control me and I am not going to control him or my fear.
One of my greatest fears is me or my kids getting sick.  The actual fear “emetophobia” is another post…another day. But this fear has controlled my life for 20 years.  Until now.

My sweet boy started preschool yesterday.  I am not scared that he is not going to like it or he is going miss me.  He is going to love it!  What I am scared of are all the germs he is going to be around and possibly bring home.  This fear caused me to pull him out of preschool last year after a month.  But yesterday was a NEW DAY!


Eli & Me 
You see in my search and talks with God over the past month I have prayed that he would protect us.  That he would take my fear away.  That he would heal me. Fervently I prayed for this.

But I was also doing this:

  • Calling the preschool to see how they cleaned the toys and how they handled sick children.
  • Teaching Eli how to religiously wash his hands.
  • Buying new vitamins and probiotics.
  • Reading Psalm 91 and claiming it over my home.
  • Obsessing over the Facebook posts of friend’s kids who were sick.

Now most of you would think that this wasn’t a big deal.  Each of these things is smart and proactive.  But I wasn’t doing just that – I was trying to sideline God and control it still.

My son’s favorite song is Our God by Chris Tomlin.  He asks to hear it every day. 

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God.
Our God. My God.

As I was standing in church on Sunday, the band started playing this song.  For some reason I listened to it differently. 

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who can ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?

What can stand against us?? It was like God was speaking just to me in this crowd of hundreds.  Tears poured down my face as I realized I am not alone in this.  God is in control – thankfully.  Not me. 
I realized that Eli {my sweet 3 year old} has been singing this song in my ear for the past year.  I thought it was cute and endearing but never really listened to what he was saying. Change the words sweet SHINE girls…

MY God is greater.
MY God is stronger.
My God is Healer.
My God is with me.
What can stand against me?

I wept and wept as I imagined His face looking down at me and saying – Sweetheart, let go.  I have this.  I am YOUR God.  I am big enough. I am great enough. Nothing can stand in my way.

The band ended that song and started another – Mighty to Save by Hillsong.

Savior, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.
Give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
So I surrender.
I surrender

Girls, I am surrendering. 

My 36th birthday was on Saturday.  God spoke to me on Sunday…the start of my week…my new life.  This fear has controlled me for 20 years but no longer.  I know it’s not going to be easy but I am giving it to God.  He is big enough.  He can move those mountains of fear.  He conquered the grave.  He can fill my life – not fear. 

My new life is here. 

Join me in this journey.  Whatever you are struggling with – fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, bitterness, unforgiveness.  HE IS BIG ENOUGH.  He can walk with you. He can carry you.  He can heal you. 

I command you – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

As Lee and I drove Eli to school yesterday morning guess what came on the radio? Not a cd I put in but the radio.
Our God by Chris Tomlin. J


Eli & Me walking into school yesterday

Girls – God knows exactly where you are and what you need.  I am grabbing his hand like Eli grabbed mine this morning and walking with Him.

xoxo
Danielle


My family