Jul 10, 2012

Tuesday SHINE....

Today's Reading: Ecclesiastes 7



Good morning, SHINE girls! Day 16 of our 40 Prayer Challenge! You are all doing so great!

Proud as a peacock for all of YOU!

Imagine the sound of Heaven shaking and trembling with our prayers! Is that cool, or what?

Speaking of praying, I have a little story to share.

My family and I enjoyed a wonderful trip to the beach last week. It was so much fun! Nothing beats having my little family under my wing at all times. NOTHING.


We made the 5 hour drive back on Saturday, and finally arrived home. Home sweet home.


The house even seemed to smell different. Does that ever happen to y'all??


Anywho, we got home, unpacked, and I opened the pantry.

Zero, nada, nothing. Shoot.

The cupboards were barer that bare. I sighed, and grabbed my notebook to make a grocery list.

I perused the fridge once again to double check the things we needed. My family would need dinner, and they would also need to be fed breakfast before church the next day. (as for me, i could survive on cereal and coffee. so, i was fine.)

I made my list, checked it twice, grabbed my keys and headed out the door for a quick grocery run.

Presley runs after me and says she wants to go too. My face dropped. Literally.

I think I sighed a little too loud. (maybe even muttered under my breath a teeny bit.)

Lem then tells Presley to go and put on her shoes so that she can go with me.

I was not happy. (that may be a little bit of an understatement.)

I was grumpy, tired, and all I wanted was a really, really quick trip to the store. Normally, I LOVE when Presley goes with me because she is a big help and we have fun together. Today, was not the day for help though. I just wanted a few groceries. No help needed for this tired momma on this trip.

I could feel my blood boiling because Lem had assisted her with the decision to go with me. My mouth sprung open before I could put an extra large filter on my poor choice of words.

It was too late. I told Lem exactly what I felt about him and how selfish I thought he was. (yikes!)

Oh, and did I mention that both kids heard every single word? (double yikes!)

Presley ran into her room, and my heart broke into a million pieces. Maybe even a zillion. (no exaggeration there.)

After a few minutes of hanging onto my pride a little too long, I went and scooped Presley up and told her that I would LOVE for her to go with me and that I was just really tired.

I felt so guilty after my childish outburst that I even begged Joseph to come along with us. (hello, guilty conscience.)

Now I have two kids in tow, I'm still tired, I'm still on the grumpy side, and now throw in a handful of Mt. Everest sized guilt. Not a good combination.

We got into the car, and I blared praise music the whole way to cleanse my unclean heart. The louder the music, the deeper the cleansing. Or so it seemed.

By the time we got into town, my guilt was off the charts. So, what's a momma to do?

I pulled into Taco Bell to feed them dinner. (yep, I really did.)

As we pulled into Taco Bell, I apologized to my children. Tears rolling down my cheeks, I confessed my bad decision in not being nice to Daddy, and for being so ugly to them and to Daddy.

I asked them for their forgiveness.

Well, guess what? They had already forgotten about the whole incident. Go figure.

Girls, the Holy Spirit pricked this heart of mine hard in that car. I was so convicted by my behavior, that I felt like I needed to be dunked in a big ocean of Holy Water to come clean. For real.

However, I knew that the Lord had already forgiven me. My children were the examples that reminded me  of His grace and forgiveness. How quickly they had forgotten and moved on. (While I sat there soaking in my guilt and ugliness.)

The next morning, I thought back to the whole incident. I wondered if I had not been so purposeful and intentional in prayer these last couple of weeks, if I would have been convicted so quickly of my sinful behavior.

I wondered if I had not been so intentional in prayer, if it would have been a week or two before that guilt surfaced, meanwhile festering into bitterness in my heart.

Even as I type, I hear the Holy Spirit whispering a resounding YES in my ears. I have gone down this path before, and it not a pretty sight. The longer I go with unrepentant sin, the harder my little heart becomes. It's not a fun process, girls. Learn by my mistakes, please.

So, I beg you not take for granted this precious communion with your Savior these next few weeks.

Girls, He is speaking to you. He is close to you. You cannot even imagine the proximity of His face next to yours.

Listen to any ounce of conviction that He may bring to your heart. Follow through quickly with repentance. Sin is not worth hanging onto because of your pride, girls. Trust me.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God;
 and renew a right spirit within me."
 Psalm 51:10

This verse is taped on a notecard on the mirror in my bedroom.  (see picture at top of post) 

Do you want to know why?

Because, I need it every single day

My heart gets unclean daily. I need the refreshing cleansing of my Father's forgiveness, every day. 

It's like antibacterial soap to my heart. It literally sanitizes it. 

If you don't have Psalm 51:10 memorized, do it today. 

You will be so glad you did.

Keep praying, girls. Big things are going on in that pretty little beating heart of yours. Big things.

heart in detox,

jill