Jun 19, 2012

Tuesday SHINE...

Today's Reading: 2 Peter 2

Happy Tuesday, SHINE girls! 

This next post is very close to my heart. Lisa and I had a very long conversation about this just yesterday.

God puts many "good" things into our lives, however, we must listen very closely to His voice to choose the "best" thing for our families.

I know I can get caught up with wanting to be a good friend, minister to others, change the world, etc, etc. However, when all of that comes before taking care of my little sheep under my roof, well then..."Houston, we have a problem." :)

God has a divine order. We must, as women, stick with this order. Or, well quite frankly, all heck breaks loose. Peace is lost, and we are wondering what in the world just happened.

Be blessed, my friends.

Can You See My Ribs?
by Lisa Inlow

Can we talk about being spread thin?  Who hasn't had days, weeks or months where we are barely keeping our head above water.  I know during these times, I am not at my best, and most times, do not have easy peace at home.

I had a day this week where I had 2 commitments, fun, good stuff.  Then I found out about an opportunity through our church, for my oldest - bowling!!  Now, I could have managed all 3 things, but by the time my husband got home from work, we'd all be so tired, so grumpy...this is so not a good situation for him to come home too.

Would I want to come home?

So I cancelled the first 2 commitments, they were my commitments that my children would have attended, with me.  But the bowling?  Not a question.  My heart and focus is on my hubby and kiddos.  My boy needs and wants to attend bowling...Summer time fun, just for him!  With a happy momma taking him, not a spread-so-thin-you-can-see-my-ribs, momma. (And a tired little sister).

I will be honest and say, one of the commitments was with a woman I am helping out with a few things.  This would have been a good meeting.  We pray together, talk about marriage, talk about His plan for us as wives.  So this was not an easy decision...

I had a conversation with my mom the other day over big plates of Jason's Deli's salad bar goodness, she was asking me about my days, what they look like.  She reminded me, "Lisa, when you get to heaven, the Lord is going ask you, 'how well did you love and care for Scott, Max, and Jenna...' "  She went on further explaining that I show my Heavenly Father how much I love Him, but how well I help and love those who are under my care.

Boy oh boy, does that make me look at my calendar a little more closely.

Obviously I do not believe having a jam-packed calendar as a sin.  I don't think having a Summer full of fun-loving activities is wrong.

But I will challenge you as I challenge myself.

Are your peeps under your roof happy and content.  When y'all are together as a family, is it easy and peaceful.  Or is everyone spread thin, exhausted and grumpy.

Which does bring up another point we as women are notorious for...ready...over-committing so we don't "disappoint" someone else.  Oh my goodness, we women say yes to EVERYTHING!  Even when we know it's way, way too much.  And so many things we are committed to are good, good things.

But when I am not enjoying my commitments or in the car on my way wish I were at home, that's when I slam on the brakes and scale back - PRONTO.

Because when I am wishing I was home, or I know my family wants me home, I know that's the Lord telling me, "Lisa, get home where you belong".

Or what about this scene.   I will be in the car with my kids heading out and this conversation unfolds, "Mommy where are we going?", "grabbing ChickFilA then heading to the park", "who is going with us?", "no one, it's just us", "oh yippee".  This is a true story.

I then think back to the days or weeks prior, and we did not have much down time, much chillin'...just us.

One more thought (the Lord keeps bringing them to me, He must want me to share).  Whenever one of my children seems needy or wants to crawl under my skin, I, again, think back to how I've been spending my time...on my laptop, texting or chatting on my phone a lot, out on play-dates or pools all the while chatting with the other mom.  These are all good things, but I know with my 2 kiddos, they need time with me...just me, snuggling on the couch or in my bed watching PBS Kids, playtime with just me.

Most times now, when I am asked to attend or be part of something, I will tell the person that I will get back to them.  This little window of time allows me to check in with Scott on his week, look at what I've got scheduled for the kids, then make my decision.

Regarding asking Scott about his week:  Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him."
(emphasis added)

Or, what about when your social life is rockin & rollin' and your hubs want you to stay home and watch, yet another, Braves game?  Matthew 5:9  “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Where do you think the Father wants you to be......

Again, I do not think business vs low-key-ness is a right or wrong.

But I know when the Spirit pricks my heart, or my kids are tired and unhappy, or more importantly, when their daddy is not thrilled w/ my go-go-go calendar....I must take inventory and make some changes.

So join me SHINE sisters, in stepping back, looking at the people under our roofs, then, looking at our calendars and agendas....have a chat with our Savior, "Lord is this too much, do I need to scale back..."

Breath. Aaah!!  :-)


Anonymous said...

Amen, Amen and Amen sister Lisa.

Mary Hudgins Balicki said...

Good stuff, Lisa. Thank you for this post. xo!

Linda Mayo said...

Oh, me? Yes, me! I don't have small children at home anymore, but I do have a wonderful, loving husband at home. Each & every night! Thank you, Jesus! And I STILL fill MY (& OUR) calendar with way too much 'stuff'. Am I tired all the time? Yes. Is my husband annoyed with all of my running here, there & everywhere, PLUS planning his 'stuff', too? He doesn't complain, but I'm sure he is. Thank you for this post ... I know what I need to do & I'm starting today ... I will take the time & think about it before adding one more thing to my calendar. Lesson learned ... I need to spend more (quiet) time with the man that God saw fit to bless me with. Thank you, Lisa, for your message today ... it really hit home (my home).

Anonymous said...

Thank you Lisa! I always love your honesty. I love the part about them being under my care. What an honor we have as mothers and wives to be there for them, to nurture and to care for them. Again, I love your honesty, thank you so much for loving all of us enough to share your heart. You have a beautiful one. Much love, Sarah

Jill Hill said...

thank you sweet lisa. you KNOW the timing of this post for me was right on. ;) i am blessed to have you as my friend. i wouldn't trade ya for a million bucks! it's true.

love you, love your heart, love your no-hold-barred way..it is always what i need. and then some.

Anonymous said...

Her Mom loves you too, always right on at the right time Lisa. So blessed by you and thankful for your friendship with Jill and Angela. You are a cool chick, that shines your lights with brilliance. Love, Ladona

Rebekah Hudgins Vepraskas said...

Thank you for all of this truth, Lisa. I agree with Sarah, we are holding the keys to their well being.

I love you!

Women Who Pray said...

Same Holy Spirit...the LORD is the same yesterday, today and forever...:) Here's what I wrote in my book in the early 1980's...
Excerpt from Ch. 1 of my book printed in 1984...

Chapter 1
My Learning Ground

One day, as I stood at my kitchen sink, washing dishes and daydreaming about the Believer’s Conference that was coming to Atlanta, the Lord spoke to me. I had been trying to decide how I was going to attend as many sessions as possible when I heard Him say,

“There is no doubt that you would learn a lot by attending all those sessions; but, Teddi, will such attendance disrupt your home?”

Aaugh! Why had He asked me that question? I mean, He knew how very much I wanted to go; He even admitted how very much I would learn – why did He have to ask me that question?? I’d be lying if I said that attending a lot of sessions would not disrupt my home. Each morning, I would have to take my two older sons to school, and I would have to leave my baby son with a sitter. Then I could not even stay through all the sessions because I had to pick my boys up at school. In order to go back at night, I would have to leave them all with a sitter or maybe with their daddy, leaving, them all at home, not to mention being rushed every night with dinner and not being at home to get my children to bed or to go to bed with my husband.

I answered,

“Of course all that running around will disrupt my home, but, Lord, it is only one week, and what’s a little disruption compared to all the wonderful new truths that I’ll learn? Not to mention, how wonderfully spiritual I will feel. Isn’t the sacrifice worth it, Lord? Won’t I know so much more about your Word, and won’t I be a better wife and mother for it?”

God’s answer was astounding! It has made a tremendous impact on my life as a Christian wife, mother and homemaker.

He said:

“My daughters try to please me by going to all sorts of religious services and listening to every minister they can. They attend Bible studies and prayer groups; and they buy all sorts of books and tapes, spending much time reading and listening to my men and women. This is not bad; in

fact, it is good. However, I do not want only what is good for my
children – I want what is best!

Remember, I told Saul that ‘to obey is better than sacrifice!’ Disruption, caused by your running around away from home – to Bible studies, prayer groups and other meetings – brings confusion and strife into your home. Therefore, that is not the best place for you to learn the truths of my WORD. Your greatest learning ground is your home!

I will teach you your relationship to me through your relationship to your children; so, you must spend much time with them. I will also teach you the relationship between Christ and the Church through your relationship

with Tim. Listen to me and I will give you peace. I will tell you which sessions to attend.”

I began to realize that God had been teaching me Bible truths through my children for quite a while; only, I had not received all of their meaning. I began to think back, looking at each truth as a piece of a great puzzle.

Lisa said...

I love this Teddi, thank you so much for sharing it. This confirms what I strive to do. And am asked often by others why I'm not doing this or that, and so many times, feel left out or lonely. But then I hear the Spirit telling me, I am just fine and doing what He wants me to do. :)