Okay, girls. I am gonna shoot it to you straight.
We have gotten to the part of our reading where David meets Bathsheba. You know the story, right?
Well, if you don't, you will know it after today's reading. It's kind of one of the main parts in the story of David. Definitely not David's finest hour. (yes, david IS human after all!)
So, this is how God works with me, girls.....follow closely:
Lem and I had a not-so-great conversation Monday night. It had a little something to do with an itty bitty act of disobedience on my part.
Something about a credit card statement , and I will just leave it at that.
It wasn't major. (To me, anyway. )
However, it was major to Lem.
Why? Because, it just is a big deal to him. I know this. I know it is a big deal to him, but there are times when I kinda forget about all of that and go with my fleshy flesh.
As God would have it, I got up and read this post on my friend Lisa's blog yesterday morning. Yep, the very next morning after our little me-spend-too-much-money talk.
God is always LOUD and CLEAR with me, girls. He knows I am slow and a little hard headed, so He doesn't beat around the bush.
God is talking to me, friends. I can't close my ears to Him and pretend like I don't hear Him. It doesn't work like that. He's inside of me. Right smack down inside this beating heart of mine.
Shortly after reading her blog, I call Lisa, and have her remind me of all the things I already know about obedience to our husbands....yada yada yada.
But, I needed to be reminded. Again.
You see, I had chosen to forget all of that wisdom for a bit so that I could have that extra latte at Starbucks, and that yummy smelling shampoo that my little head of hair just HAD to have!
You know what I mean?
Let me get one thing straight while we are on it.....you do not have to be married for this to relate to you.
So, quit thinking you are off the hook. This is about obedience, dying to our flesh, and submitting to the Father. Yep, so whoever you are and wherever you are in life, this applies to you as well sweet friend.
Okay, a lot more to say about this on Thursday. Hang tight and grab your coffee and hear Lisa's wisdom. (have i mentioned to you that every girl needs a Lisa? well, they do.)
So our pastor has been doing a series on marriage. As a result I have been kind of paying attention a little more to how Scott and I operate and, I don't know, just noticing some things.
Here's a few...
Scott has a mother and does not want me to mother him. I.E. boss him around. Talk to him like he is a child. Look at him disapprovingly like he's a child. Question him like he's a child.
Plus, let's be real here. Uh, when we are upstairs, ahem, ya know, doing that fun thing married people do...yay, neither one of us wants anything to do with mothers while all "that's" happening. So why would I pick and chose when/where/what Mothering should come into play? It never should. Ever. Ever. Ladies, we need to be done with this.
Another thing, Scott needs to know he can trust me. One of our things is spending money. Scott can finally trust me in this area. Finally. It has taken a long time, I'll be honest. In the past, every time he would sit to pay bills, I would steer clear man, cuz I knew that I had not been responsible. But more importantly, I had not been respectful of him and how I knew he wanted the checkbook to be handled.
When I am out and about doing my thing, I need to act maturely and responsibly, out of respect of my husband, and not spend money frivolously. And I need to do this without him giving me the low-down on how the money is looking. I used to wait on the "red light" or "green light" on spending. Now, I just go with my gut. I pay attention to what he is saying, what we have coming up, etc.
We are going out of town for Spring Break, and we are planning a beach vaca for this Summer. With me knowing these things, I need to act accordingly and be smart and sensitive. Plus, it just means so much to him and he is very appreciative...so why wouldn't I??
And here's a big one. I have come to a place in my relationship with the Lord where He is the main man in my life...not Scott. And don't y'all know Scott is grateful. For too many years I relied on my husband to fill every void, build up my confidence, be my only sounding board (when he and I both knew I should have been talking to my Father), be my holy spirit, for lack of a better definition. For goodness sake, that is not Scott's responsibility. And he did not want to be all of those things in my life.
I had to stop looking at Scott, as my everything. He is not suppose to be, so when he was, things were out of sync in our relationship.
Where to start? Talk openly with your Savior. Tell Him what you know He needs to be in your life. Ask Him to forgive you for looking elsewhere for validation, support, guidance. Then, start paying attention to Him. Quiet your spirit and listen. When you find yourself texting, emailing, or waiting to hear the garage open so you can run to your husband for something...talk to the Father first. Start running things by him. Start looking to Him...to be your everything. You won't regret.
P.S. Maybe money isn't you and your man's thing. But what about this, does he trust you to think the best of him? Does he know that you have his back?