Mar 22, 2012

Thursday SHINE....

Today's Reading: 2 Samuel 12

Happy Thursday, SHINE girls!

So, are you girls shocked at the extent that David went to in covering up his sins? I mean, not only did he sleep with Uriah's wife, but he then had Uriah killed!

Oh boy, talk about covering your tracks. Or at least he thought he was. You will find out in today's reading that God saw it all, and David will certainly be punished for it all. And then some.

Here's what I'm learning:

 When I act out of disobedience and sin, you can bet your bottom dollar that I will step into more sin and more disobedience. It's a given.

My momma always told me when I was growing up that  if I was faithful in small things, then God would put me in charge of big things to be faithful over. There's a scripture that goes with this:

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." Luke 16:10

So, today I am applying this to my marriage. Remember that little act of disobedience with my credit card I told you all about on Monday? Ok, seemingly not a big deal, right?

It is to God. Disobedience is disobedience. Period.

Like it or not, God has put a hierarchy of order over us girls. It's true.

If you are married, the Lord comes first and then your husband. If I am disobeying my husband in any way, I am also disobeying the Lord.

How can this be, you ask? It just is.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord.

"And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." Isaiah 55:8

As I was mopping my floors yesterday, God spoke to me. Remember, He always speaks to me when I am mopping. (note to self: i should mop more)

He was giving me the message of this post today, and I was kind of arguing with Him. You see my personality is one that wants to encourage and sweeten things. I don't like getting in people's faces. So, this is what the Lord told me, "Tell them I made you say it. It's from ME, not from you anyway, Jill."

Alrighty then.

Let me just be real straight with you for a minute. I have had to learn this the hard, hard, extra hard way. Lem and I have had some major ups and downs in our marriage. And, guess was MOSTLY due to my disobedience.

Not only would I hide shopping bags in my trunk, (yes, i did that), I would bad-talk him to my friends. I would poor-pitiful-me about how hard he was on me. How he was just so mean and selfish. Whaaa, whaa, whaa.

Girls, God finally dropped a big fat brick on my head and told me I WAS THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!!

My lack of self-control, and selfish ways were the problem, not Lem. (he's not perfect either, don't get me wrong--but we are talking about me right now.)

Girls, we get into big trouble when we step out from under our tents of covering. Our tents being our husbands and the Lord.

Okay, stop right here. You may not be married, you may be divorced, widowed, never married, or never wanna-be married...this still applies to YOU. Our hierarchy always involves a HIGHER...which is God! You just don't have a middle-man, yet.  Or, if you are still living at home or in college, your hierarchy includes your momma and daddy. This applies to all of us, sweet girls.

Here's what I used to pray: "Lord,  help me to be the best momma in the world! Help me to serve you, Lord and serve others with all my heart! Help me to raise godly and respectful children! Oh, and please change Lem too. He needs changing, BAD!"

I NEVER, EVER prayed to be a better wife! I would pray for Lem to change, and that's it!

Girls, we have to look in the mirror.  See that pretty face staring back at you?  Uh-oh. Yes, she's the problem.

 If we are doing what God has called us to do in marriage, our lives will change for the better. Our husbands will change, for the better. And hear this one, little momma's: OUR CHILDREN WILL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.

It's just how God works! He honors obedience. Pure and simple.

“Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice..." 1 Samuel 15:22

Maybe your husband is a jerk, maybe he is not saved, maybe he is unloving, maybe he is unkind, maybe he's just plain lazy. Now instead of focusing on what he isn't...think instead of what he IS.

  •  He IS your husband.
  •  He IS your authority.
  •  He IS the head of the home. 
  • Period.

Have you ever noticed that even animals take good care of their young? They protect them, they nurture them, they love them. It's kind of a natural instinct, wouldn't you say?

Okay, so to be a good momma pretty much comes natural. We love the mess out of our kids. We just do. It's natural.

However, loving our men is a whole heck of a lot harder. Why?

Because it is not as natural! We didn't give birth to them...they came into our lives with all this junk and baggage. Yuck.

Look here though....this is the part that separates our spirit from our flesh: we must love them the most. (after the Lord, of course.)

It's a lot harder to love our husbands more than our kids, right? THIS is what God calls us to do, girls. It's a learned behavior. Are you getting this? We have to put this into practice!

If we want the very BEST for our children, (and we all do!), we must love our men...the most. We must set the example to our kids of what "dying to self", and "putting others first" looks like. The way God intended it to be.

Isn't this how we love Christ? Dying to ourself to live for Him? See the resemblance? We are teaching our kids about the Lord, when we love our husbands.

Here's the first thing I ask women who come to me with problems or something they are struggling with: "How's your marriage?"

If the marriage is off, everything else will be off. It's true.

I will end this post by telling you something that will prove to you just how important our marriages are in our Faith walk.

Last Fall, I lead an online Love Dare with some women. It was going so well for the first 5 days or so. I was soon hit extremely hard with some major spiritual attacks.

I fell into a depression, had nightmares, my heart was skipping beats, I was having full-on panic attacks everywhere I went.

Here I was leading this Love Dare, and I could barely get a hold of myself! What in the world kind of leader was I??

After being obedient to the Lord (against my flesh!) and sticking out the labor that went into these daily love dare emails to these precious women, it was finally over after 25 days.

As I was coming out of this season of spiritual attack, I suddenly saw crystal clear why I was being attacked. Working on the marriage is POWERFUL, spiritual, God-pleasing stuff!

Satan was on the attack...BIG time. HUGE! Satan knows where to get a foothold into our families, girls. It all starts with the marriage.

Once our marriage falls apart, the whole family goes with it.

Satan was NOT happy about me messing with the territory of marriage. He threw every fiery dart he could at me.

I'm happy to say though, that God caught every last one of them. I may have been tired, weary, and slap down and out...but I was never, ever harmed from Satan's schemes to thwart God's plans for me to lead that love dare.

Where are you today, girls? Are you where you need to be in your heart towards your hierarchy? If not, ask God to help you with this! He will, Ohhhh,  He will!!

Let me ask you this too: Are you being  a hindrance in a friend's marriage? Are you the ones your friends run to for pity parties and more bashing regarding their horrible husbands?

Or are you telling her to let God be her sounding board and encouraging her in support of her marriage.

No more husband bashing, girls. God is calling us to a higher place.

Married or not, we have a responsibility to each other in this marriage department thing. Your friends won't like it when you tell them to go to the Lord instead of calling you. God will like it though. He will bless you for it too,  just watch and see.

heart in transformation,



SouthMainMuse said...

Good morning Beauty. Number One: Your floors must be a heck of a lot cleaner than mine -- and Number Two: I don't think about being obedient to John. Certainly not like I think about being obedient to God. Thanks for mopping and for the great food for thought. Hug.

Lisa said...

Wow Jill. Praise the Lord for how He used you as his mouth today. I love you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for these inspiring words! This is a message I need a constant reminder on. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

FYI...Jill has some obsessions with housework...I am working with her to get past only took me...wait I still have issues! haha

anyway...great post!!


I wanted to add...............we often times gravitate towards those friends who tell us what we want to hear.....check yourself.....if the person you are confiding in does not give you Biblical guidance....STOP taking their advice!!

Happy Thursday!

one more thing...a little plug....IRONICALLY....we are having a marriage conference at our church this Friday night and Saturday morning.....anyone interested??? Summit of Madison

Kim J

Anonymous said...

I need some serious prayer with this one. My husband uses this stuff like a weapon to rule over me. He does not love me like the church nor does he have his priorities in order but I must let him be the spiritual leader even if we are headed in the wrong direction. I find it hard to let him rule over me when he has a double standard with everything. I will stop here before I husband bash b/c believe me I can .... He was just telling me last night how I am lacking in the wife and mother dept. how do u love a man like that?

Lisa said...

Hi Anonymous. You know the ??'s you asked above in your comment? Ask your Heavenly Father those questions. All these frustrations, hurts you have with your husband...tell those to your Lord who loves you. You need to become uber-tight with your Savior. You can fuss at Him, it's okay. You can complain and unload on Him, He can take it! Picture yourself climbing up in His lap and letting it all out girl. Mini-tornadoes swirling around you, almost eating you up?? Look up, hang out with the One.

Jennifer Oglesby said...

Powerful message. And much needed.

Lisa said...

Me again Anonymous. Then you have to be quiet and listen to Him. He will guide you in your marriage. He does not leave His children high-and-dry. So I would encourage you to unload your heart, then quiet your heart and spirit so you can hear Him. Then obey what He tells you. Sounds simple, I know it's not. But with Him, you can do this. I am praying big time for you today, you have my word.

Women Who Pray said...

Woo Hoo!!!!!! Straight from the throne, JIll girl!!!! Glooooorrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

It was this Truth that you've shared today that turned it allllll around!!!!! Ups and downs are part of is a roller coaster ride for sure!

I could say soooo much...but Amen!!! So BE IT!!!! is just enough!!!

You, JIll, are just a glimmer of the Glory that I've been praying for younger women's marriages for sooooo long...

Thanks, LORD, for the training...the practice...all worth You are not only perfecting us as women...but as wives...and the husbands are coming in and will rise to their place as head...and will maintain we submit ourselves to You, LORD!!! We are to do all things for You!!! When we give a glass of water ... we give to You!!! When we obey our husbands, we obey You!! It's all about You!!! Woo Hoo!!! This has made my day!!!!!! Leaders, teachers, must learn to teach!!! Apostles are first disciples...students of the Master!!! Gods Way!!! Certainly higher than ours!!!!

Women Who Pray said...

Anonymous...I used to wait for my hubby to treat me as Christ does the Church...I would have had to wait for eternity...because the order is Wives submit unto your husbands...the it says Husbands love you wives as Christ does the also says if any obey not the Word, they will be won by the behavior of their wives...with a gentle and quiet spirit...that is very precious unto God!!!

Well all my stomping, screaming, pouting, suggesting, or whatever I tried to do...until I obeyed the Word...hear what I say please...NOT UNTIL I...Teddi Holt...obeyed the Word...nothing began to line up...I was regarding my not obeying the Word...and He says He cannot even hear us!...Now, God is not deaf!!! But, He just says Speak to the hand...or places His fingers in His ears like we cut up about saying lalalalalala...picture it...I'm His child...and He's saying I'm not listening...until You do what I've already told you to do.

It's not a one day trial and if it doesn't work it's not true...It's believing it's True when I can't see it...and believing it is True until I see it!!! That's Faith!!

LORD I ask You to remind anonymous what she loved about this man...why did she want to be his wife. I pray she list what she doesn't like...and say I forgive and name each item on the list...and then burn it! When the LORD forgives He never looks at it's as far as the east is from the west...not to be brought up again! And, when your adversary brings it say..."NOPE -- FORGIVEN!!!!!" Obeying God becomes a lifestyle!!! As Jill said, "Learned behavior!!!" Not natural at all. Natural is of the world. Loving your husband God's way is Spiritual...Agape love...1Cor 13 takes work every day to live this lifestyle...but it's oh so worth it! You never arrive and go on R&R!! Your adversary will look for opportunity and sneak in an drag you down again and again...You live in your armor from Ephesians 6. I not only never take off my helmet of salvation...I never take off any part of that armor...I leave no room for the enemy to get are welcome to my website ... my fb page Womenwho blog email you can call me anytime 678-863-3189 (cell). I am honored to be a shinegirl with you. :D

Jill Hill said...

Hi, Anononymous above. First, i want to say that i love you. whoever you are, wherever you are loved! this is the part where i wish we were not separated by a computer screen and i could hug your pretty little neck.

this really stinks when our men do these kinds of things as you listed. the only thing that i KNOW to work, sweet friend, is by praying for your heart. praying for your heart NOT to change, or become bitter, or angry, or closed-off to him.

i KNOW it goes completely against what our flesh wants to do. it totally does. however, we must do it anyway.

as lisa said above, the only One who can really give you the guidance you need is the Lord right now. i do know that God's word never returns, if we love our husbands, as the Lord says we should, and truly in our hearts forgive them for hurting us, God WILL bless us.

He will! He always will. i always try to think of it as a challenge. like for example, with Lem, i do exactly opposite of what i WANT to do when he is not nice to me. example: if he criticizes me, i try to keep my mouth shut and not use hurtful words back. i TRY to go straight to God with my open wound and get the healing from Him.

every single time i do this, God works in our marriage! i cannot express enough how important it is to pray for your husband. not pray for him to change, but for the Lord to help you see your husband through HIS (God's) eyes. pray for your husbands heart, his mind, his hands, his back, his feet...pray over him like you would over your own children.

"power of a praying wife", by stormie omartian. this book changed my life. if you can get it, please do.

i am praying for you fervently to fill God's peace through this and to continue to seek His face.

i love you!

Women Who Pray said...

And, Jill, the 1st prayer for His Wife...I still pray every Saturday with the prayer well as the 1st of every month...Stormie ranks up there with my favorite authors, along with...Germaine Copeland with Prayers that Avail Much...and Beth Moore...all her works.

Mary Hudgins Balicki said...

So good that it hurts...ouch.

Thanks Jilly! Love you friend. <3

Anonymous said...

Never allow yourself to stay in an abusive relationship, especially if you have children. Don't allow him to use the "submit" verses to cow you and convince you that it's your fault. No. That is NOT what it means. It doesn't mean that he is supposed to "rule over you." I think that this often gets confused in Christian circles. There is a fine line between submission and becoming a doormat. Stay strong.