Feb 8, 2012

Wednesday SHINE....


Today's reading:  1 Samuel 28

Good morning, SHINE! Didn't y'all just love Beth's story?

Yes, me too. And, I have to admit, my husband , being the golf fan that he is, loved her story too. :)

Thank you, again, Beth for sharing your beautiful story with us. We are so grateful and blessed.

Okay, God really does have a sense of humor.  Sometimes it feels like HE is the only one laughing though.

Anyone relate?

here's a little visual of my sweet Lem before I go and rat him out.
 (love you, honey!)
(we like to have fun--just one of the million reasons i love him!)

So, here's what happened.....

 Monday morning, I got up at my usual dark and early time. I was snuggled on the couch, coffee in one hand, bible in the other hand.

Just me and God.

I was just soaking up His word and our time together. This is my absolute favorite part of the day.

Suddenly, I hear some scrambling in the kitchen.

Oh no. One of the kids had gotten up early.

Shoot.

"Hey, darlin!'", comes a voice around the corner.

Startled, I look up to see my husband, Lem.

"Ohhhh, hey! I thought you were one of the kids. Whatcha doin' up so early?" I asked him.

"Just thought we could read the Bible together, honey. Won't that be cool?" he asked me.

 I was not happy. Lem had single-handedly interrupted my date with God. I mean, seriously? This is the ONLY time of the day that belongs to just me and God. (or so it seems)

I squirmed a bit and pasted on my best fake smile, and said, "Sure!".

Okay, girls...this is not the worst part of the story. The worst part is that he wanted to catch up to where we are with our reading here on SHINE. Which meant he wanted me to read with him from 1 Samuel 1 until the chapter we were on that day...which was 26! Yes, 26!!

Seriously? Read it again? 26 chapters??  With you?

 (I said all this to myself.)

Good grief.

Oh, it gets better. Not only does he want to read it together, but he wants to read it aloud to me.

Okay, I don't know about you, but if I am going to read something, let ME read it. Don't read it to me.

(I know my attitude stinks doesn't it. )

As this is happening, I am hearing the Holy Spirit whispering to me to be quiet and just go with it.

UGGGGGGHHH.

(the irony of this story is that I have been trying--no, begging--Lem to wake up and have quiet time with me for the entire 13 years of our marriage.  now that he is getting up with me...I am missing my alone time. ha! God, you crack me up.)

I shut my mouth and listened to Lem read (aloud) for 8 chapters. (yes, EIGHT!)

The next morning, I tried my best to sneak out of bed and tip-toe to the den without him hearing me.

Fail.

He came right in there about 5 minutes into my reading.

Shoot.

He then continued to read 1 Samuel for about 7 more chapters.

After reading, he put the book down and said, "Saul is not that bad. I don't get it. Why do you think he is so bad?"

Lem had heard me talking about Saul and how I didn't want to make the same mistakes he did, so he was confused why I thought we was so bad. (he hasn't got to the part about him trying to kill David yet)

I thought for a second...then something hit me like a ton of big red bricks. Saul wasn't so bad...Saul was disobedient.

Disobedience is what led to Saul's downfall.

Okay, let me make this a little clearer for us. How many times have we been disobedient in our walk with the Lord?

Ummm, almost daily for me, if I am being completely honest.

Even if it is just a teeny tiny thing that we are being disobedient about, what is God showing us through the life of Saul that happens?

Uh-oh.

Yep, you guessed it...big, big sin. Not just sin, but even death.

So, God, you are telling us that this is why obedience is so important to you, right? Saul wasn't necessarily a bad dude...he was just disobedient in a few little areas.

But, guess what? Those teeny tiny areas turned into big, gaping holes of sin.

Not sure about you, but I can think of a MILLION examples of how something seemingly tiny on my part turned into something way out of my control.

For example, my love walk. I had sown a little bitty seed of bitterness into my heart over a friend. So little,  that nobody even knew about it...but me. (and God.)

However, as time went on, that seed grew and grew and grew until before long, I had NO idea what was going on. I just knew that I had lost my peace and lost my connection with the Lord.

If I would have been obedient from the get-go about this little seed of bitterness, it would have never been planted.

I felt justified for hanging on to this little seed. It just made me feel better, like I had won...or had a little control.


Did I just hear you gasp? Or maybe that was just me gasping again at what the Lord is showing me.

Girls! What's going on with our obedience? What are we doing that seems little bitty to us, but not so little bitty to the Lord?

Let me give a few more examples of the disobedient paths I have taken over my thirty-something years...
  • not going to church, 
  • not forgiving someone--completely, 
  • not showing love--especially to the unlovables in my life
  • not stopping myself from gossiping when I KNOW it's headed down that path
  •  wanting to be "right" instead of just keeping the peace
  •  being judgemental
  •  being envious
  •  feeling justified for holding back just a little part of the truth
  •  little white lies
  •  stretching the truth
  • not praying
  •  telling people what they want to hear instead of the truth
  •  people-pleasing instead of God-pleasing
  • self-pity--which leads to feeling justified for disobedience.
  • cheating ( just a little ) on my taxes
  • not giving(when i know i should)
  • giving--just because someone is looking and i want the recognition
  • self-promotion instead of promoting others
  • being unkind 
  • harboring anger towards my husband because he is not doing what i want him to, or what i think he needs to be doing.
  • harboring anger towards a loved one because they have said or done some hurtful things to me
  • letting my JOY be dependent on my circumstances--instead of letting my JOY be because of the Lord.
  • comparing myself to others constantly instead of embracing what the Lord has given me and the gifts He has given me.
  • wanting to be liked, instead of wanting to serve the Lord.
  • putting myself first, instead of last.
  • being quick to speak and slow to listen--instead of quick to listen and slow to speak.
  • quick to point out someone else's faults instead of seeing and working on my own big fat ugly faults.
  • judging others by their actions and judging myself by my good intentions. ouch.

Oh, man...it's gettin' hot in here!

 Not only have I taken off my winter coat, but I have stripped down to my unmentionables with that list.

Yikes.

Good thing y'all love me, right??

I could literally go on for days with that list. I am one disobedient chic. But, guess what?

Through the Father, I am cleansed.

How do I stay cleansed and safe from harm? How do I stay safe from my itty bitty act of disobedience growing and growing until before long I am in the biggest mess of my life?

Obedience

Yep, the big O.

So, Lem was right. Saul wasn't such a bad dude. Saul was just like me....disobedient

I want my ending to be different than Saul's though.

How about you?

Let's start today.

Let's pray for God to show us any areas that we are being disobedient.

It may not feel good when He shows us. It may pinch a bit. Or, maybe even a lot.

However, the pruning is worth it, friends.

Through the pruning comes the beauty that reflects Him.

What are y'all learning through our reading? Won't you share?

seeing your beauty from here,

jill


"Look, today I have set before you life and death, depending on whether you obey or disobey. I have commanded you today to love the Lord your God and to follow His paths and to keep His laws, so that you will live and become a great nation, and so that the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to possess." Deuteronomy 30:15-16,

15 comments:

  1. Your list looks a lot like mine Jill. Thanks for posting. :)

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  2. And I thought my girls were the ones who needed to work on being more obedient... It looks like mommy does too! Thanks for the post. :)

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  3. Cassie2/08/2012

    Man o man if this is not what I am dealing with right now too! I am so disobedient. I get so wrapped up in what others think at times instead of what the Lord thinks and lose my focus. Not good. Caring about others opinion over the Lords will for my life...DISOBEDIENCE. Lord please forgive me and remind me that it's not about approval of man!

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  4. Let me just say first that I LOVE my Lem! He is a friend on my son's from their youth. They were never 'bad' boys BUT..... they had their amount of mischief. I smile remembering some of their antics, never harmful to others, never evil, never malicious or aggresive but harmless mischief meant for fun. Lem is a gentle-strong man and his heart has always been tender. Jill has got herself a winner! He is a wonderful husband and father. I can see his sweet eyes and smile right now. I am SO proud of him to stepping up to cover, accompany, join and guide Jill as her spiritual authority. Hat's off to you son! Jill, like me, is a strong leader and sometimes we never realize we have such wonderful 'other' gifts from our Father. We have our God plan, direction and get excited about what we are doing in Him and then he says 'Hold it, I need to show you some great things because I LOVE YOU SO MUCH'! Jill (whom I have know all of HER precious life) has always been such a sweet and yes, she is as good a girl as she seems and more!, and is pliable and receptive to God when He shows up BIG like this and she is overwhelmed with God's goodness. (: How precious the God arranged this meeting for them! I am thrilled when God blesses some of my 'other' children and I am proud, 'I say Thank You God for loving what I love so much.'
    As for the story, it's a sly lie of the enemy when you think you can disobey a tiny thing, because see, like a seed you put in the ground, before you see evidence ABOVE the ground, the ROOT is growing beneath and it pulls some 'feeders' around it which are other ugle sin areas. By the time it shoots the surface it's full steam ahead and you've got a problem... it begins to bear fruit. We ALL need to stop this at the seed lever, get rid of it. I believe as Saul grieved the Spirit of the Lord, his own heart was grieved also because he was separated from the Father, ohhhhhh we don't 'evah' want to find ourselves in that place. Keep your fountain clean and the gracious 'God' watern flowing in your lifes, I'm trying to do the same thing. We will ALL need areas of deliverance in this world until the King comes again. Even so, come Lord Jesus.

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  5. Thank you, Jill, for being so open and putting it all out there. I find myself checking off each item as I read your list - yes, that's me, yes, I've done that, did that yesterday, - wow. I have really been disobedient. But we are cleansed through our Father, and what a wonderful feeling that is. My husband has noticed a change in me (for the better) since I began this journey, and I thank you for being our leader. As an aside, I joined a group on Facebook called A Surrendered Marriage Prayer Group - by LeighAnn Dutton. She is following the e-book called 31 Days to Build a Better Spouse by Ashley Pichea. I am on Day 8 of praying for my spouse, and he has noticed that the prayers are working. So far, I have prayed for his heart, his salvation, strength, choices, integrity, relationships priorities and attitude. I hope everyone has a great day!

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  6. Anonymous2/08/2012

    Thank you Jill! I was just worrying about something this morning, and even though the Lord had told me, "I've got this..", I still worried. Guess what? He worked it out, very easily right in front of my eyes. All I had to do was obey and say, "Okay." Praying I'll do better next time. Thank you for being real with us, and reminding us of our duty to our Father. And I thoroughly enjoyed the story of you and Lem! A good chuckle! :)

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  7. Anonymous2/08/2012

    Sorry, that's my comment above! ~Sarah

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  8. Jill I loved the picture! We are so much alike just like you said. I had the same thing happen...but not with my hubby..with my friend. When I began praying the prayer blanket...dwelling in the Secret Place of the Most High, and then, my friend wanted to join me in praying the prayer blanket together...and, that's how my prayer ministry began...lol! I said, "LORD, I love our time together..just me and You." He said, "Yes, and Your are going to take people into the Secret Place with You and train them in Spiritual Warfare prayer. I've shared this place for almost 9 years with other women. Oh, Jill, how right you are, girl!! It is not that Saul was bad..even chosen...but disobedient..and the disobedience killed him. That lesson yesterday with David's obedience...wiping out all the enemy...go to Psalm 18: 35-42. We are to pursue and destroy the enemies of the brethren...the Church...we do it with our spiritual weapons of warfare...we clap, dance, and stomp on the enemy...take the necks of our enemy...we can't just punch our enemy....our adversary...and run off ...or take a siesta! We must stand in our armour every day ...as David the one after God's heard did every day. :)

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  9. thank you, friends! since posting this...i thought of a million more ways that i have been and continue to be disobedient in my walk *burying my head in shame*

    however, by HIS grace, He will gently show me and point me back on the right path. i MUST listen for Him though.

    love you all so, so much. thank you for letting me be the real jill hill. (dents and all.)

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  10. Anonymous2/08/2012

    Jill, we are all in love with Lem..sharing your intimate moments with God and him, it don't get no better than that baby girl. Your Mom and his other Mom me.

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  11. Anonymous2/08/2012

    Thanks for sharing this truth. Your list made me cringe because it is so true for me as well. This blog is such a gift & I enjoy it as a part of my daily routine!
    -Katie Davis

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  12. Anonymous souonds like Terri...lol! New scripture tonight that applies to us, Deuteronomy 30:6: And the LORD your God will sircumcise yourhearts and the hearts of your descendants, to love the LORD your God with all your mind and heart and with all your being that you may live. Loving this adventure with you girls..thanks for letting me be a part! :) <3

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  13. God is soooooo much bigger than all of us and I bless His name for sharing such a part of Himself as He has. Girls, we sooo need Him and He is soooo faithful. Yes, we all struggle but He is everpresent and omnipotent to be right THERE in each and every circumstance. Reach out and touch the hem of His garment. Get on this trail, you salvation hangs in the balance of your relationship with Him! I love you all. Aunt Teddi right right! (see above Women Wo Pray)

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  14. Jill, I love this story of you and Lem. What a precious heart he has. I have chills as I read this and marvel at all He has done in the last 6 weeks.

    The wealth of knowledge that I have packed away from Samuel is incredible. Saul was so disobedient and yet, more importantly, he wasn't listening!!!

    The major theme of Samuel for me has been to turn down Rebekah and turn up the Holy Spirit. Listening and following with obedience so that God can fulfill His plan in my life. It is a dance for sure, but waltzing in sync with Him is my reward, goal and joy.

    And Jill, I love you.
    Beka

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